Friday, April 21, 2017

April progress so far...

At an attempt at being as transparent as possible with my journey going forward, here are my stats for April so far.

When I weighed in on April 3 at 286, I felt so humiliated. Like such a failure. How in the hell did I let myself re-gain 25 lbs since October? As you can see, I did pretty good that week… but then the weekend came. And I binged away all that progress and managed to even add 2.6 MORE pounds to that high weight!
So the following Monday, April 10, I started a OMAD (one meal a day) intermittent fasting plan. I did end up going longer than that and fasted from Monday night until Thursday afternoon… 68 hours. That’s my longest fasting stretch so far. And even though I had a three day holiday weekend, I didn’t binge or go crazy. Even on Easter Sunday (which we don’t celebrate), I cooked a low-carb meal and only treated myself with sugar-free cheesecake and Halo Top ice cream. From Thursday morning to Monday, I was only up about a pound. But coming off a long fast, I thought that was decent.
This week I’ve just been intermittent fasting 16–22 hours a day. I’m really just going off hunger or timing my meal to be whenever my family eats in the evening. I do drink either coffee or tea in the mornings.
Yesterday a co-worker brought me a diet Dr. Pepper, and even though I haven’t had a diet soda in two weeks, I drank it. Big mistake. Cravings took over immediately. So, when presented with ice cream cake after school, I had a slice (a small one). Then, when I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work, I bought 3 vanilla Easter eggs off the clearance table.
What the hell? How does one slide off the rails that easily?
But thankfully, I took my ass to the gym when I got home. And by the time I was done, I decided to carry on with my planned dinner (tacos) and NOT let that behavior continue for another minute. I chugged water until bedtime, and woke up a pound less than yesterday.
Whew. That was a close one.
But eye opening. I need to be very careful not to jump the rails again this weekend. Lots of time at softball means lots of exposure to the concession stand. And even though I KNOW that food is processed and gross, I’ll still want it. Because it’s a trigger. And I’m an addict.
So my goal for tonight is to get home in time to take leftover tacos to the ballpark with me. Tomorrow is my day to actually WORK the concessions before my daughter’s game, so I’ll be at the ballpark from 11:30 a.m to around 4 p.m. I could make a big breakfast, then drink water and fast until dinner. Or I could just put on my big girl panties and fast until dinner… just say no to the junk and make a conscious decision that I won’t eat that concession stand junk anymore this season. I could also just take some food with me just in case. I’m still contemplating.
The biggest thing is not binge eating and being totally aware of my choices. Because I slip into oblivion so easily it scares me. I’ve already been on the bad habit train for so long, I have to reprogram my brain into submission. But I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

1 comment:

  1. Your progress is looking great!!!!!

    Isn't it crazy how one decision (i.e. A small soda) can send us in a downward spiral???? You are doing have recognized the issues and are working to fix them! You've got this!!!!


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