Thursday, April 16, 2015

What's next?

I'm still in somewhat of a slump about my weight gain, but for the past few days I've made a choice to stop with all the negativity, and just move forward the best way I know how. I started using MyFitnessPal AGAIN, but this time I went in and let the website recommend my calories and macros (I usually customize this for myself). It has me at 1900 calories. And so far, thats fine with me. I've gone over each day this week thanks to candy calories, but at least I'm tracking and TRYING.

I've got to try. I just can't NOT try. But eating 'normally' is actually ok. And tracking helps control the portions.

I am going out of town tomorrow, but first I have a doctor's appointment with my OB/GYN that also does nutritional counseling. I'm hoping they can give me some advice or direction. After low/no carb not working this time, I just feel so discouraged. I feel like my body hates me and I've really just abused it for so long that I'm a lost cause.

I called my insurance company last week and asked about resources for someone with an eating disorder, or help with nutrition and weight loss. Blue Cross Blue Shield was sorry to inform me that they don't offer help with anything like that, but I would be an excellent candidate for gastric bypass surgery. The rep was happy to refer me to a bariatric surgeon.

Damn. Not that I haven't thought about it lately. But I just don't think surgery will help me until I get the mental and emotional stuff right.

When it comes to food and sugar, I am totally unstable.


  1. It took me awhile of struggling with loss and gain and regain, but I decided to do surgery and it was the best decision of my life. Email me if you would like to hear about this process.

  2. I had surgery and know many others who did as well and it was THE BEST thing I've ever done. It's a tool - you still have to do the work but it gave me space to do so successfully. It's been three years and I'm doing great. Still in a size 8 and enjoying an active and healthy life.

  3. The emotional stuff is HUGE. I finally started seeing a therapist about my binge eating disorder, who also referred me to a nutritionist, and it's completely changed my life. My blog is only like a week old, but I do talk a lot about it on there.
    My insurance didn't reimburse me for any of it, but I rearranged my finances and MADE it happen. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk more about it.

  4. Hollie, my mother had the surgery in 2003 and lost over 160 lbs. She has had a lot of complications post-surgery, because she never dealt with the emotional aspects of why she over-ate. Now, instead of being obese, she is an alcoholic and that road has NOT been pleasant!
    I have two very dear friends who both had weight loss surgery. One gastric bypass, the other lap band surgery. The first gained most of her weight back, the other looks great and is doing amazing. I tell you this Amy said, it is a tool. It is a means to accomplish your goal. But it all boils down to nutrition and exercise.
    I recently lost 70 lbs, all with nutrition and exercise alone. I hired a personal trainer, who coaches me on both things.
    I started my own blog, which has been so helpful for me to really look at the psychology of what I have been going through. I'll be saying a prayer for you, for direction and wisdom and will power!

  5. I am 12 years out from my gastric bypass and I honestly wish I hadn't done it. The mental and emotional is really important. If not, you will fall back into old habits. It took me 3 years to start gaining back. I am just now starting my weight loss journey again and doing it the right way. If you want to talk more, just email me.

  6. I have just come across your blog and it's amazing, I started to think about doing a blog in some hope that I would get some support to help me along the way and I think I will. It's nice that there are other people like you in the same situation and hopefully we can all support each other along the way x

  7. Hello Hollie. Hang in there. I think you are very wise to evaluate whether or not you are emotionally ready to take a big step such as a gastric bypass surgery. Whatever you decide, please make sure that you are emotionally okay first.

  8. You know, my only regret with the lapband is that I waited so long to get it. Seriously. I was always like "I don't NEED WLS...I KNOW how to lose weight". But one day my sister (who wanted surgery), convinced me to go to the seminar at the hospital and the rest is history. With that said, surgery may not be right for everyone and you are certainly correct that if you don't get your mind and heart involved, WLS won't work. But for me, the lapband was the tool that jumpstarted my lifestyle change. The weight loss, the freedom that losing the weight brought me, the way my body started to just kept me going. I still struggle with the brain part everyday, but the lapband helps me so I don't go totally batshit crazy. I have this discussion with Heather all the time (my fiance, size 4, all muscle, NOT a food addict), there is a reason why only about 5% of people lose weight and keep it off the "old fashioned" way...and even if those stats are off...let's be super generous and say 15 % lose weight and keep it off by diet and exercise alone...well the odds are not in our favor. It's tough. Keep fighting the good fight.

  9. Hollie, I hope you will achieve what you're dreaming of! Hang in there. Well, this routine might be helpful for you guys! I decided to give it a try. Of course, with right mindset, dedication, and determination to reach your goal, with a little help from this book, I lost 14lbs in 3 weeks. I just thought you guys might like this!

  10. Hollie Good luck for your dreams. I have lost 12lbs in some weeks.


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