Thursday, December 26, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
I didn't realize until today how much technology played into my workout! I started on the treadmill to do intervals, but I couldn't get my music app OR the nike app to work! I was about ready to fling my phone across the gym because I was so mad, but after turning the phone off and back on I at least got my music to work. It was at this time I realized I had forgot to turn on my HRM! So it took a good 13 min to get it together, but I had a good workout. 30 min on the treadmill, 15 min on a new machine that's a cross between a stepper and an elliptical? Not sure what it's called.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
My name is Hollie, and I'm a compulsive overeater, a food addict, and sugar addict.
This is my reality. And it's time that I started dealing with this again, or else I'm going to be over 300 lbs again before I know it.
A week ago, I celebrated one year of continuously striving for weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. I was feeling pretty good, I had a plan of action, and I was ready to make things happen.
Then, something happened. I had a death in the family. I had to deal with some emotions brought on from someone in my past. Work was stressful. Add to that the already high level of tension I am feeling from being a single parent who is struggling financially through the holiday season and it happened.
The binging started Wednesday. And it didn't end until today.
I guess I am thankful that I'm able to recognize what's happening, but it feels awful nonetheless. A friend suggested writing in a journal, and after a short time of writing yesterday I had to admit to myself that I just can't handle sugar.
See, last December when I got started, I also began attending Overeater Annonymous meetings. I didn't realize that compulsive overheating and sugar addiction was so real until I started attending those meetings. And remember, I stayed clean (sugar free) for 90+ days. But during that time, I was also attending meetings. When soccer started this spring, I stopped going to the meetings and the sugar crept back in.
I didn't see it as a problem. I was in control. I had a 'cheat' here and there... No big deal.
Fast forward 8 months. I indulge in sugary treats whenever I want, and even when I try to abstain, I still fail to keep sweets out of my diet. And now I'm binging again.
I have come to the conclusion that many people in my OA meetings already know... I just can't have it. Sweet, sugary treats are not just something I can enjoy on occasion. I'm going to have to eliminate them entirely. At least for a while. Maybe someday after the weight is off and I've maintained a while, I can add occasional sweets back in. But right now... It's cold turkey.
My addicted brain tells me to wait until New Years, but I already made it through last years holiday season with no treats, so I know I can do it again. I just don't want to. But I have to.
I recalculated my macros on myfitnesspal and also lowered my calories a bit from what I got on the IIFYM website. I'm going to try it for a week and see how it goes.
I know that once I get clean I will feel better, but right now I feel awful. Mentally and physically. I'm really struggling with EVERYTHING right now and I hate that feeling. Please pray that I can get through these next few days of detox.