Wednesday, June 22, 2011


I have been avoiding my blog like the plague. Honestly.

In blog land, when a blogger doesn't post for a while, it usually means they have fallen off the weight-loss wagon. In my case, that's exactly what has happened.

I don't know why, either.

I joined Weight Watchers, and I don't think I made it to the two-week mark. I have been unmotivated.

I have tried to figure out why... but I don't really have an excuse.

Yes, I am tired. Toward the end of summer school last week, I could feel exhaustion setting in. We only had a 3-day break from the last day of school and the first day of summer school. Summer school was only 3 weeks long, but it still takes effort. Along with all the other stuff that I have to do.

Yes, I like to eat. I have been eating out WAY too much. And I have been eating WAY too much of the wrong foods.

Yes, I am lazy. In my spare time, I am lazy as hell. I don't want to go work out. And I haven't even been to to pool in a week or so. It's been rainy and cloudy for a week or so, and it's been no problem for me to stay in my room and Facebook or watch TV during my down time.

Yes, I know I have to get my butt in gear. I still have Weight Watchers for another 2 months or so. I have also thought about doing Isagenix again. Or low carb. Or Medifast. But all I know right now is that I have to do SOMETHING.

I have had a bad upset stomach since Sunday morning. At first I thought it was something I ate. Then I thought it must be a virus. But for four days? Maybe my body is telling me it's had enough bad food to last a lifetime and that I have to get back on track. I am just unmotivated. And I hate feeling this way.


  1. Sometimes when I'm stressed or tired, I focus on the little things that help keep me motivated and focused.

    Getting enough sleep is key!

    Hope you have a great weekend (it's almost here!) Sounds like you need some pampering and rest.

  2. I wondered where you were. Glad you are back. I have started labelling my posts so I can see which ones to click back to as reminders of how good I feel when I eat well/bad I feel when I don't.

  3. Dear Hollie,

    oh, how i recognise what you're saying. It's such an endless road, isn't it, with so many options to chose from, so many ways to go, but in the end, weightloss only boils down to selfdiscipline and restrain. I've only just started my own battle again. I'm morbidly obese and my first goal is to get rid of the 'morbidly' part of that. A month ago I started going to the gym, and after giving myself some weeks to get used to that, I now started to watch my food intake as well. No special diet, no shakes or expensive books. I am allowing myself to eat 1400 calories a day, with 200 bonus calories for Saturdays and Sundays. For REALLY special occasions (like.. maybe 5 times a year), i double the amount, but only for those specific days.

    I hate having to diet, and i really try to not make it feel like a punishment. With punishments, there have to be rewards for good behaviour, and it's those rewards that broke me up so often in the past already.

    I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this up, it's too early for that. I can't tell you what to do to get your head straight either... but i do wish you luck with your struggle. I know how hard it is!

    Wishing you lots of courage,

    Loes, The Netherlands

  4. Hiya,

    I love reading blogs that are similare to mine. I too nexperience severe chest pains when I binge and over indulge on naughty foods, they keep me up all night and are horrific. I also believe that this is NOT a virus but simply our bodies telling us we were doing so well and now its not used to all of that fatty foods.

    Struggling with motivation is a regular occurance for people who have struggled with their weight for a long time but its important not to procrastonate and get back on the wagon TODAY.


  5. Hello! You can do this. Pick one thing you can do TODAY. Drink water. Go for a swim. Take a walk. Whatever. Just focus on that one thing. Once you get comfortable with that, add something else. You'll be back in the groove in no time.

    I agree with Netti that our bodies tell us when we're mistreating them. I get a pain right under my left rib if I eat a meal high in fat Apparently this is normal actually and has a physiological explanation (note to self: look that up).

    Hang in there!

  6. Hi, Hollie. I totally understand your struggle. I have been off-and-on Weight Watchers again and again, so I decided to try something different. I don't know if you might be looking for something different, or something that's not routine, but I just started my weight loss journey with counting calories by using a calorie counter application on my Blackberry. I stuck to 1800 calories in the beginning, then dropped to 1600. I only drink water, but I eat whatever I want, and I NEVER feel guilty (only when I binge). The weight dropped instantly. I don't like the routine that weight loss programs have to offer, so if you're looking for something new, maybe this will work. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you nothing but luck!

  7. It happens to everyone....
    it all gets to be too much....and you just lose that urge. When your ready to push through you will :-)
    Dont let it stress you out more...just take one decision at a time and before you know it you'll be back!!!
    Hope you tummy feels better

  8. Hey Hollie! I've been thinking about you and praying for you. I got my cookbook, and I am looking forward to trying some new things this summer! Thank you again so much! I know what you mean about motivation. I was really looking forward to summer, because I thought eating healthy would be easier (no school and nice weather). For some reason I have wanted to rest and be lazier(with my eating and exercising) than I was during the school year. I cannot imagine working full time and taking care of your children how tired and ready for a rest you must be! Your body and mind just need some rest time. Unfortunately for me, since food is my issue, I associated resting with eating "fun" (sugar, carbs) food. I am struggling with this also right now. I honestly feel so much better when I eat right..physically and mentally that it baffles me that I am still fighting this battle and eating incorrectly! Anyway, sorry to write so much, but I understand, am battling the same food issues, and praying for you! Your desire is there...a little rest and you will succeed!

  9. Hi Hollie,

    I am sorry to hear about your stuggles. I know losing weight is hard, but you are not alone. I was wondering if you are using any type of appetite suppresants? I have been a yo yo dieter for years and have finally went to the Dr. for help. I chose a very mild one and it has helped me alot. I also follow a Dr. guided weight loss program that I would be willing to share with you. In three weeks I have lost 10.3 lbs.
    Good Luck and know that alot of us are all in the same boat.

  10. I know that weight loss isn't always easy, but I've been doing some research as I look to improve my own health and find that the biggest thing that brings real change is to change how you think. When you change how you think, then how you eat, how you excercise is SO much easier. check out this site I found. He really focuses first on how you think and how you can keep the weight off forever.

  11. I so feel you!! I did the same thing... I was on weight watchers for a few months... the first couple went well. But then I decided that it was too much trouble to count my points and I gained all my weight back. So now I am going to try medifast.

    Good luck to you, I will be checking back to see how it turns out for you!


  12. Welcome to being human. I felt like I was reading some of my own words. I have been contemplating my overall apathy and trying to get to the bottom of it.

    Pick up things and rebuild that habit. I chose 15minutes of deliberate exercise. Ironically it took me over moth to get 21 days in a row.

    Just know that you can do this & you have support out their to help you.

  13. I will definitely be praying for your motivation and strength! You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to! Don't give up!

    My husband frequently has to remind me that "it's not a sprint." You have plenty of time to reach your goals. Don't let this set back keep you from doing so. Tomorrow is a brand new day. You can make good choices for yourself!

  14. HI, I didn't realize there were so many people blogging about dieting. Its nice reading about other people struggling or working to loss weight too. I have a blog too.. haha.. how do you get so many readers?? Anyway, I want to lose weight to and I'm going to start a diet... and report how well it works. I've never been over weight in my life but I'm bigger than I've ever been before. I just started college! the freshman 15 is a real thing! that sucks, I think its all the freedom and good food available. but I want to get healthy, my body is not used to so much junk food, its not happy. thanks for sharing your efforts.

  15. Hey Hollie,
    I just started following your blog and I have to say: I feel you and I am right where you are right NOW. Seriously, I was doing so good and then stress got to me. It was finals week, I failed one of my finals and then came the binge eating and then the horrible feeling of anxiety and stressed and hating my self. But I have also read your other post and you can do it, we can do it. You have come so far and you are not alone. Look at me, a total stranger struggling with what you are struggling. You can do it, you can get it together and take it to next level and lose weight. There are so many reasons to give up, because junk food is good because we hate working out or because we are bored but the fact is the most important reason to not give up is YOU. YOU are worth it, YOU deserve a healthy change, YOU are amazing :).

    Wishing YOU the best of luck,

  16. hang in there girl. Stick with us, blog world is great for accountablility

  17. Hollie,

    I am sorry to read that you are struggling with staying focused on Weight Watchers and Swimming to lose weight. Most all the motivational experts are all saying the same thing these days! You see, there really is no secret or “magic bullet” for overcoming the characteristic of losing weight procrastination. For those that are successful, it comes down to a simple thing “TAKING ACTION”! Do not make excuses! There is no reasons! It is just a matter of just doing it! I know you are having a tough time but if you could just focus and plan to follow the weight watcher program and swimming daily you will make progress. You might consider writing your goals and daily actions to lose weight on your calendar so you can read them every day.

    You have come to far to give up. There is always going to be bumps in the road. After you hit the bump use it to help you focus once again on your weight loss goals and taking daily action. Good luck and keep your focus and motivation on weight loss.

  18. Holly, i understand what you are going through. I've been through it countless times myself. Something that helps me out is that I started a folder in my computer called "MOTIVATION" in it i keep anything that i feel would give me the push. Old pictures of myself when i was thin, Nike ads, pics of amazing bodies, Typography posters that really serve as eye openers. For example I love one that says "MAKE YOURSELF PROUD !". Try this. i hope it works. You have to push your self out of the comfort zone. Think about how you will feel afterwards if you DO workout and if you DONT workout. Something is better than nothing. Stay active. Stay positive. YOU CAN DO IT !

    my site is my motivation go-to place

  19. Hollie - I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm happy when I eat now! Annie Bennett at myfreedomfit lost 70 pounds herself. Her site is free and she herself emails me and keeps me motivated when I need it. I have lost 32 pounds without even counting anything and I'm always full. I still have a ways to go but food is not my enemy any more. Can you imagine? Good luck and I'll "see" you tomorrow.

  20. Your honesty is refreshing. I think one of the biggest issues is that dieters get into "I'm either on a diet and I watch everything I eat," or "I'm not on a diet, so I'm not watching what I eat.
    Dr.Barbara DeShong

  21. Keep moving forward...realize your mistakes and move on from can do it!

  22. I am currently on a healthy eating and exercise programme as I have a lot of weight to lose. I have joined a group called mumentum and all the bloggers encourage each other.

    My daughter introduced me to your blog. I hope you get back on track and get some rest.

    Dianne x

  23. Hi Holly,
    If you are exepting yourself the way you are, that's good. But if you don't like your over weight body and this body brings you bitter taste in your life...Then just get rid of the excess fat!

  24. Just posted a similar blog...I am going Low Carb. Maybe we just need accountablity partners!

  25. Don't get stress and you are just like a lot of women out there what a lot do and many tasks at hand. Weight loss isn't hard but it isn't easy either.

    You know what you need to do but you have to hold yourself accountable. My wife had the similar issues for years. No matter how much I tried to help she just wasn't ready to lose weight(unmotivated).

    Like Safire said little things count and well help keep you motivated. Keep a journal and hold yourself accountable for particular things. Once those become habits move to something else.

  26. Wow im so with you on this one..It was almost like i was writing that myself. Im so struggling to find the motivation to get my ass into gear, im so over being the weight i am but i cant seem to push myself to lose the frustrating

  27. I just found your blog :) Hi!! I hope you're feeling better now. It's hard sometimes, but just know you're not alone.

  28. What you are feeling is quite natural and happens to almost everyone trying to lose weight. Recognize that any war worth fighting will have its minor defeats. Remind yourself of challenges you've overcome in other areas, despite the setbacks. Tell yourself that an occasional fall is part of losing weight and that it will probably happen again. Resolve to get back on track as quickly as possible when it does happen. Think more about why you started instead of spending your time on why you stopped! Everyone stumbles--think positive and get back up.

  29. Hang in there girl....I have not been doing good either. I got to get back with it! It's so hard sometimes to stay committed.

  30. I know what you're saying too, though I had to do this with gaining weight. I've found like you said that no special diet works, we need to find lifestyle changes. What you said about your body having too much bad food is probably dead on. Eating poor food and environmental toxins makes people feel bad and retain more weight than they'd like to.

  31. Hollie, I found your blog through Google, and I wanted to say you can do this!

    I've been on Weight Watchers since 2008 (lost and kept 40 lbs. off for a year and a half now), and I've heard people say to just focus on getting into a regular healthy habits routine, rather than wait for the motivation to hit. Sounds easier said than done, but it makes sense to just stay the course, because there will always be temptations and emotional stressors looming to derail us.

    That's the biggest thing I'm working on now. I want to lose maybe 20 more lbs., but I am really trying to work on changing the mindset and attitude I have about my problems, stress, my baggage, etc. I'm thinking that if I can get to a good place with those, I'll have more strength to draw on to not use food as a crutch for myself.

    Looking at your pics and the weight loss successes you have had, I know you can do this!!! I wish you the best.

    Also, I have to ask: What products do you use on your hair? It looks beautiful! I've changed to natural hair recently, and I need someone to save me from being an even worse product junkie, LOL.

  32. I think everyone deals with this on a daily basis, that constant war against the variety of tasty food out there.

    Stay strong, find a diet that really suits you, myself I believe low carb diets are truly the best ones, but that's because I'm a meat fanatic.
    Find some diet that suits you along with some fun exercise. Maybe find a partner, that always helps.

    Be sure to check my blog for some more pep talk :)

  33. Skinny Hollie! You have sooo much great encouragement on here, it's fantastic. I just went back on Medifast and it can be trying. Even moreso when you add school, stress, etc... I know how you feel. I started completely and honestly blogging about my Medifast journey, hoping to find the strength and committment ot change my lifestlye and lose weight.

    I appreciate your honesty about blogging and dieting and your transparency. Good luck Hollie, I know you power through.

  34. When I feel lazy and don't want to workout a find a friend to workout with and keep me motivated. Nice post.

    belly fat

  35. I just started my own blog, and I feel the exact same way you do. Unmotivated. Sigh. Still, at least we admit it and don't make excuses for our weight. Keep your chin up, you're definitely not alone. :)

  36. Good to know you're getting back on track. Don't condemn yourself, just stay focused! Good luck :)

  37. Motivation... tell me about it!!! Its the key to success in everything we do. Does anybody have the key? Awesome Blog, keep up the good work!!!


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