Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Today, when I was busting it on the elliptical (I did a 45 minutes today for the first time in a couple of years)... I was looking in the horrible wall-length gym mirror, thinking... "I wonder how much longer I will have cankles?"

I, then, began to scan my entire body... and I almost got depressed.

My calves are HUGE. My thighs are HUGE. My belly is HUGE. My arms are HUGE. It's going to take YEARS of work to get my body in decent shape. I feel overwhelmed.


Oh, well. At least I am TRYING.

Did I mention that I did 45 minutes on the elliptical today? The gym was not quite as PACKED as it's been, so I got to go over the 30 minute limit. I decided that I could get a better workout by going 15 more minutes on the elliptical, than my usual 30 more minutes on the bike. It sure did make me sweat!

And speaking of sweating...

Thanks for all the compliments on my haircut. I really like it. But I need to figure out something to do while I am exercising. My hair is naturally curly (like in my profile pic). But in yesterday's pic, I had flat-ironed it (like I usually do). But after 45 min on the elliptical, I had a 'fro! Maybe I can wrap it up while at the gym? Is that too tacky? Maybe a headband? It's too short for a ponytail (I tried).

I won't have to worry about it for much longer. As it starts to get hot outside, I will flat-iron it less and wear it curly more. Then it won't matter.

Ok... off to bed for me!

PS....tonight was church dinner. I took advice from many who left comments, and I ate what I wanted. I'm not going to worry about it. I will watch my portions, and try to make good choices. But I will enjoy my Wednesday night dinner, and only have dessert on the nights I go to the gym before dinner. Thanks for helping me with this one!


  1. Don't think like that!!! The worst thing you can do is thinking bad, self-depricating thoughts while you're working out. Listen to upbeat music and think of how awesome your ankles (and everything else!) will look soon. Set small goals and take it step by step. You WILL get there, just try not to get overwhelmed.

    Also, I like the headband idea. I wear my hair in a ponytail and then a headband for my bangs so it's all out of my face.

  2. I had to stop looking at myself in the mirror at the gym too because I was disgusted with what I saw -- but then I brightened up and thought "hey at least I'm AT the gym." It's better than me sitting on my couch finishing off a medium pizza and catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and feeling sorry for myself and for what I see looking back at me.

    Now when I go the gym I focus on my face and how determined I look when I am busting my butt on the treadmill and it motivates me even more. Even if I catch a glimpse of my full body I don't feel too bad because its all a work in progress ;)

  3. I had the same yucky thoughts about my butt tonight. Let's make a pact that we won't get down on ourselves while we are TRYING to get better. We are TRYING and that is all that matters. We'll get there! :)

  4. That's the first time I ever read your blog and found you in doubt or down in the dumps, what's up? You are doing great! Sorry bout the "Cankles" we are all in the same boat on that one. I bet you are back on top of the world in no time - I sure hope so! It's not easy committing to all this change and health but you got this!

  5. first off, you are awsome. On the topic of the fro, I get it too I have super curly hair but I flat iron it everyday. I got a lulu lemon headband and I love it, normal headbands slide off your head and make me look dumb but this one really doesnt. get one! lol

  6. I know it is easy to think of ourselves as what we see in the mirror or what we read on the face of the scale. However, more important is the heart and the mind. I have followed this blog for a while, and you have showed me your heart in your love for your children and the effort you make to be a healthy mother for them. Even if the mirror does not show you the physical image of the body you hope to see, the Hollie within is beautiful as is and of more value than "Miss America Hollie".

    I hope someday you will look in that mirror and see what you want to see. However, in the meantime, I hope you can look and see what I do.

    Like the new hairdo, by the way.

    Senior Health and Fitness

  7. Congrats on the 45mins!! I die at my 30 minute mark still, ellipticals are ass-kickers!
    I feel you on occasionally thinking this process is going to take long, but I try to get those thoughts out of my head as fast as possible.
    It may take long, but make the baby steps. One day at a time. Every day is a day closer to your goal. You can do this!!
    You look great!

    :) Tamara

  8. Don't look at the whole mile, look at each step you are taking.

  9. Sometimes it can be really difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but you know hard work will get you there eventually. Don't give up on yourself!

  10. We all have days like those, but what's important is that you are there at the gym working out, and you're continuing to stick to your plan. It's easy to let that kind of thinking lead to reckless abandon at the dinner table, but then it leads you back into that vicious cycle!

    BTW, I have hair about your length, and it's headbands all the way for me.

  11. Hey Hollie!

    I know the feeling. I have cankles this week too, lol. I was just posting on my blog about being in a little funk the past week or so. I shared a video my friend recorded (in response to one I'd made and it was right on time). When you get a chance, take a look at it. There are so many friends that I have that are on the weight loss journey that are experiencing "funks" these days, but you hit the nail on the ARE doing something about it. Don't get frustrated about where you are now vs. where you want to be. You are making changes and it won't be that way forever. You will think back on these thoughts and chuckle about how far you've come. I just know it!!

    :) Take care!!

  12. Squeeee! I really do love your hair. Keep working out Hollie! Please don't get discouraged. The commenters here have summed it up pretty well and I agree with them! :)

  13. Oh my gosh your post made me laugh! Only because I can totally relate. Sometimes looking in the mirror can make you pick yourself apart and set you back... don't let it get to you!! You're doing awesome! But I do understand how you feel.

  14. I'm just starting out...

  15. girl I am sadly, the same way! Here I am at the gym, feeling good about myself for getting my lazy butt to the gym when there I notice myself in the mirror. I sometimes want to just cry! I wish they didn't have all those mirrors in the gym! lol

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