Yesterday, I just did it. I re-joined Weight Watchers. I was out running errands, and the thought occurred to me that it was time for the Tuesday meeting. I just went in and did it.
And then I felt... embarrassed? Let down?
I actually walked outside to get myself together. I actually thought, "how am I going to admit to my blog-friends that I re-joined Weight Watchers?" Does that even make any sense? It's not like I have done something wrong.
I think the bottom line is that I need accountability. I am just not one of those people who can eat intuitively (at least not right now). I need parameters that are easy, and Weight Watchers has always given me that. I have always lost weight on WW.
What I hope is different this time around is the quality of food I eat. I know so much more this time around about how to eat whole, unprocessed food. I really think I can do it this time.
Like Lyn (Escape from Obesity) always tells me, I need to stick to it for a certain amount of time so it has the CHANCE to work for me.
So I am giving it 4 weeks.
I am already feeling good. The meeting was nice, even though the regular leader wasn't there. I have heard from co-workers who go there that she is awesome. I also recognized someone that went to the meeting with me YEARS ago who has re-gained about 50 lbs. Several people came up to me after the meeting and offered encouragement, which felt good. Already, it seems different from "last time". Like the people are closer? The last time I went to meetings here, people basically just weighed in and left. These people seem kind of connected, which will be great for me.
I spent time last night packing my lunch and calculating points values. Today I was prepared and I am feeling good! I have plenty of points left for the day, so there is no reason for me to go over. I forgot how much I prefer counting points vs. counting calories.
I got very good news yesterday. I officially have my FIRST interview set up for Friday for a teaching position in the fall! I am nervous and excited at the same time. It is my first choice for a job/school district, so I am praying it will work out.
I have worked for so long toward this goal that it just seems unreal that I am *almost* there.
Besides dealing with my weight and eating issues, I have been bombarded by stress related to my kids, job situation, and ex-husband. It is just overwhelming. I walk around all day with such a heavy heart. I haven't cried in such a long time, and I know that if I ever start I will probably cry for days. I am having trouble sleeping (again), which BLOWS. I just lay awake, thinking...
BUT, somewhere, deep inside me, I feel change. I still feel that peace that I got over the weekend. I feel better about myself, and I don't feel hopeless anymore.
And my house is even clean. My oldest had the kitchen all cleaned up yesterday when I got home from Weight Watchers, which was an awesome thing. Now, the only areas of the house that need to be addressed are the bathrooms. But they are both so small it will probably take about 15 minutes to clean them (which I plan on doing this afternoon).
Many said this in the comments, but cleaning my room/house makes me feel SO much better. It's just one less thing, you know?
I have officially reached 500 followers! Wow... that is just amazing to me. If the blog-world only knew how much support, inspiration, and accountability you provide me each day. Thank you!