Is that even a word, lol. Well, even if it's not... I hope you get the drift. I feel like that's how my brain feels right now. Like it's trying to clear out the clutter...
Today, it was cold and rainy in TN. UGH! There goes my walk I had planned (and looked forward to). So, in an effort to NOT sit on the computer or in front of a TV all night, I got my butt up and cleaned my room! For the past couple of nights, it's just been overwhelmingly messy. I figured I needed to do something before somebody submitted my name to the that show, Hoarders. I am not a hoarder, but I let clutter in my room build up until I want to just pretend it's not there. Most nights my bed is so full of clothes and stuff that I can barely find a place to sleep. Just so much clutter...
Kind of like I let the clutter in my head? Maybe.
Today, I woke up and decided first thing that no matter what, this was going to be a good day. My heart is still heavy over a situation I am dealing with. But I took charge of my thoughts and my well-being first thing this morning and guess what? It worked! I still have peace, and I'm still feeling good.
After I emerged from my bedroom, it was like I looked at my whole house through new eyes. What looked clean didn't really cut it anymore.
I have not only let myself go. I have let my house go, too. My standards are definitely lower than they were when I was married and my ex checked everything with white gloves, lol. But I didn't think I had slipped that far. I mean, it's not NASTY or DIRTY - just messy. Yeah, I do have three kids and this is a small house, but I know I can do better. And the time is now.
I didn't sleep well at all last night, so I am off to bed. I even have my clothes picked out and ironed for tomorrow! I am aiming for a smooth morning so I can do my hair and makeup again. That made me feel better today. I just want to keep this feeling I have - the peaceful feeling that has eluded me for so long. I am not ready to give it up just yet - if ever.