Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Snap out of it!!!!

Yesterday morning I was low… very low.

But it always takes that ONE friend to slap you back into reality, and yesterday, that is exactly what happened.

My friend Yvette (who helped me with weight loss before) called me yesterday morning after reading my blog. She gave me a dose of reality, and several words of wisdom.
“Your body is controlling you, you are not controlling your body!”

“You really have to slap the shit out of your body so it can listen to you!”



“Tell your body, sorry, THIS is what we are doing now!”
(Seriously, this conversation was so GREAT that I was taking notes! I felt like I was attending a motivational conference or something!)

But HONESTLY, SERIOUSLY… Right now, my weight defines me. I am controlled by food – whether it is the food I am eating, or not eating, or just obsessing about. Something’s gotta give!

I am going to rise up. I am not going to do this to myself anymore. My weight will not define me anymore.

No, I do NOT want to diet. I do not want to count calories. I do not want to restrict my sugar and caffeine. I really just want to eat healthy foods 80% of the time see where that leads me.

But right now, I am miserable in my skin. I am unhappy.

Uncomfortable. I am going to have to get uncomfortable for a while. Why? Because being uncomfortable in regards to following a diet and exercise plan will only be temporary. Staying on the track that I am on is going to kill me. For real.

I saw my mother today. 5’2” and 300+ lbs. She is 75 years old, and takes 14 different medications to control severe arthritis, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a list of other weight-related ailments. I do not want to turn into my mother (who, by the way, refuses to diet and sleeps with a box of cookies and sweets in her bed with her).

I have issues with food that I am going to have to address… head on. What am I gonna do when I want food? What am I gonna do to break my bad habits? I have to figure that out. Starting now.

Yesterday, the sun came out. I took my children to the Dollar Store – even though we really didn’t need anything. It was close to the house and I didn’t want to travel too far because of the flooding. But we needed to get out of the house. I needed fresh air.

I bought some yard supplies, and spent two hours working in my yard yesterday. I strapped on my HRM – I burned 1400 calories mowing the back yard and cutting hedges and weeding! Today, my body is HURTING – but in a good way! I am ready to start exercising again. The sun is out, so I will be walking today.

And coming up with a plan so I can FINALLY start losing weight again. Even if it makes me UNCOMFORTABLE. I have to do this. Now.


  1. Your friend had some great points. Sounds like she is a great support for you.

    Sounds like your mom's situation can be a great motivator for you to live a healthier path.

  2. You have some great ideas!!

    I think it is important while trying to loose the weight we do actually have to diet. And then as it starts to come off we can work on maintaining we can have some treats here and there.
    But for some of us it is just going to be harder.

  3. It sounds like you have a great network, and I think that is very important. What really matters is that you can pick yourself up and keep pushing though, because no one else can do that for you.

    Good luck on your road to a healthier you!

  4. yardwork is such a great way to be active and burn calories! I love the words of wisedom as well...WE control our bodies, we can't let them control us.

  5. I totally know where you're at lovely. I have been there so many times. It's like you know where you want to go..but you just can't seem to get there with food/dieting. I say SCREW the food and start listening to your body. You can continue to try and control your emotions with diet restrictions etc. However, it's really about unwinding all of the false voices in your head. I just say get down with those emotions, those voices, those 'I can't do it' sentiments and sit with them. Cry with them. Get overwhelmed by the fear and then tell them to go to hell. And I mean scream it. Yell it, throw stuff, get all of it. Be patient with yourself, but love you gotta dig deep..and you can.

  6. Hi Holly, Love your blog! Todays post made me feel alot of things.
    One is that we pend ALOT of itme punishing and yelling at our bodies to conform. INstead of thanking them for working every day, and growing our children! When you are kind to your body, you are feedingit healthy food, giving it exercise and sunshine, etc so I really disagree with your friend, though I love the motivation! Whatever works!
    Another thought I had onthe NON Diet front is a GREAT book I just read talking about just that "Women Food and God, an Unexpected PAth to almost everything", by Geneen Roth who has specialized in years on compulsive eating. As you know and I know that type of issue doesnt respond to will power, thats the whole deal! So i think you are on the right path giving up dieting! I applaud your efforts to sort it out for yourself. Check out the book if you are inclined!

  7. Your friend has great points and by you posting that, you have helped a ton of people. Thanks for keeping me motivated.

  8. I hope you don't mind. I have to link this entry to my blog. It is SOOOO what I needed to hear today. Thanks again for inspiring me.

  9. Great job picking yourself up despite how your feeling. :) You are on your way Hollie. :)

  10. What a great friend you have. So often our friends are more than williing to tell us what we want to hear. But a true friend will tell you what you neeed to hear.

  11. Kudos to your friend.

    And I have to say - you are taking charge by just writing the post. Keep up the good thoughts and good actions and just keep taking one foot forward - one step at a time.

  12. Keep working on it Hollie, you will get there!

  13. Have you read WOMEN FOOD AND GOD? I started reading to to help me understand the emotional side of my eating and it's really good so far!

    Stick to it...you'll get through the rough patch. =)

  14. Hollie,
    can you email me at livesmilerun@gmail.com
    I wanted to send you a private comment and don't have your email address.
    Thanks !


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