Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Never never never give up!

First things first… I want to address a comment I got on yesterday’s blog by mbm1forever:

“I do agree with you, Hollie in theory, but it almost sounds like you are giving up on yourself in some ways. By that I mean the hard look that we must take at ourselves on a daily basis when we are overweight. I don't want you to feel bad about yourself and with that I agree. I do wonder though if you aren't letting go of your accountability to yourself. I do not say this to anger or to judge, it is just what strikes me about your blog.”

Let me be clear. By deciding to NOT be on a diet anymore, and by breaking the diet/binge cycle, I am NOT giving up on myself. If anything, I am even more adamant about succeeding on this journey I am on. Over the past few days, I have so much more peace about food and am making better choices. The scale even tells me I’ve lost weight!

A diet doesn’t have to be the only way I get accountability. Counting calories and points, or eating certain food might do it for some people. But it is NOT working for me. And please be certain that I am still holding myself accountable. See, when the DIET part is over, we still have to be able to hold ourselves accountable. That is why so many people regain their weight after being on a DIET. They have allowed that diet to be their accountability, and after they are done with the diet, they go back to old ways. I want to eat well and exercise FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Way beyond meeting whatever weight loss goal I have. I want health… not just weight loss.

I am just trying to get to a place where I can get rid of the “all or nothing” mentality. Eating piece of bread does not mean I am a failure as a person (which is how I was feeling), and should not cause me to throw in the towel and begin a binge. I have to get my mind right – and get back to a place where health is a bigger priority than fast weight loss. If I can incorporate healthy habits into my daily LIFE, for the rest of my life, I believe the weight loss will happen.

I was binge-free yesterday (Day 2!) and felt really good about my food intake. We had a super-healthy dinner last night before soccer (grilled chicken, baked sweet potato fries, and broccoli w/ fat-free shredded cheese melted on top). I told my kiddos not to expect McDonald’s or pizza for dinner any time soon. It’s way past time for us to get back to healthy eating in our house. I was so proud of my baby for eating all her broccoli, therefore encouraging the two older kids to eat theirs, too. She even asked for seconds! And then later, after soccer, she grabbed a yogurt cup for a snack.

See, when I don’t keep sugary, fattening snacks in the house – my kids don’t eat them! They are used to not having any of that stuff around, so they don’t even really care. They would just assume have pretzels or an apple or yogurt. But when I am on a binge, and buying donuts, cookies, chips, and candy – guess what? My kids eat it right along with me. But what is that teaching them? Bad behavior with food – and that’s the last thing I want to teach them. Reason NUMBER ONE why I have to get this under control. My kids deserve so much more than that.

I also realize that I am going to need to start packing their lunches every day. Because of the new emphasis on school lunches because of Jamie Oliver’s new Food Revolution show, I am now ready to start taking on this change, too. I have known for a while that our school lunches SUCK. But since all three of my kids get free breakfast and lunch at school, and because packing lunches takes even MORE planning and preparation time, I just roll with it. But since being healthy is now a FAMILY priority – its something I am going to have to address. As you can see below (hope it's not too small to read)… the menu is full of fattening, processed foods. Honey buns and funnel cakes for breakfast? Are you kidding me?

Yesterday I walked for over 30 minutes, and it was one of the WORST walks I’ve had in a while! My left knee hurt, my right foot hurt, and it just sucked! But I kept going (slowly) around the track while my oldest had soccer practice. The two younger kids played on the playground, so it was all good. My middle child has practice tonight at a different field, but there is still a track that I plan to walk on. I bought some new shoes to walk in the other day, so I am going to try those to see if it makes it any better.

No, I am definitely NOT giving up. Not on my health, not on losing weight, and not on myself.

BTW… does anyone use the Nike+ system? I am thinking about buying it since all my shoes are Nike+ ready. It is supposed to measure distance and calories. I am also still looking for a reasonably priced heart-rate monitor (that can also count calories). Any and all suggestions are welcome!

Yesterday I got a copy of The End of Overeating by David A. Kessler, MD. It was recommended on one of the blogs I read (I forgot which one), so I ordered it off Amazon last week. I read through the first few chapters after my walk last night, and I think I am really going to like it. I will let ya’ll know how it goes.


A while back, I was given an opportunity to try out a website, www.habitchanger.com. It is a guide to changing habits, and takes you through 42 days with daily emails and exercises. I am doing the program that is supposed to help you with weight loss. Today is day one, and I am supposed to write down all the reasons why I want to lose weight. So here goes!

Why do I want to lose weight?

1. I want to be healthy.
2. To set a good example for my children.
3. So I can shop in the “regular” section of the store.
4. To feel sexy.
5. So I don’t get out of breath when walking up stairs.
6. It will boost my self-esteem and confidence.
7. I don’t want to get diabetes and high blood pressure like my mom.
8. I don’t want my knees and feet to hurt when I walk.
9. I want to be able to run a mile.
10. I want to learn to roller-blade and swim.
11. I want to be active with my children.
12. So that men will drool when I walk by.
13. So my thighs won’t rub together when I walk.
14. If I can meet my weight loss goal, I will know I can do anything!
15. I am worth it.

Disclaimer... HabitChanger.com has allowed me to try their program for free and in exchange I will post my opinion, bad or good.


  1. Ha, ha, ha. Oh Hollie! Great minds think alike!!

    Love your list. I heard a quote once that I LOVE, "Don't give up what you want, for what you want at the moment". I think it is good to make lists of the things we really want, so that we don't lose focus of our REAL goals.

    PS. Love this line, "12. So that men will drool when I walk by." Isn't it the truth?? It feels so good to get 'checked out'.

  2. I do not think it is giving up just because you take a step back to re-evaluate. In fact I think it is neccessary! I once heard that the true definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
    So good luck to you! And congratulations on making healthy eating a lifestyle for both you and your kids. You're right - school lunches do SUCK!

  3. I just found your blog and I totally agree with you. I have been trying since January to lose weight by learning a healthier lifestyle. I want to lose it in such a way that I learn good habits and it stays off - yes this takes longer, but it works. Good luck and great job so far.

  4. Good for you Hollie! Reading yesterdays blog in the beginning sounded like you were giving up but as I read on I understood that you were making a lifestyle change and that is the way it should be.

  5. Nice blog, Hollie. I am convinced that you are not giving up. I am thrilled to see it. Yes, eating a piece of bread is not a failure. I will be interested to see how you continue. I only hope that I can stay on track myself!

  6. I think you are doing great and you are right about learning to eat healthier. I think that sometimes it helps to take a step back and look at what we are doing. You go girl.....

  7. I have been reading your blog off and on for a while now and today I finally thought I would comment.

    I am so glad you have chosen to get off the "diet" roller coaster you seemed to be on before. That was key for me to loosing about 100lbs and now I have been retaining that loss for over 6 months now. Stay on this path and I can tell you that you will make your goal. Sure will you have challenging times? Yes but it is about making changes slowly, and moving to collectively more healthy choices everyday.

    Even though I'm not currently blogging on my blog feel free to check out my older posts or even shoot me an email if you have questions. I went from being morbidly obese and now I'm a newly certified personal trainer and I am more than willing to offer advice.

    Have a great day!

  8. I totally agree with what you have said. It is important that we learn self control while on this journey. That, as you know, can be with or without a specific diet. You can do this.

  9. Re-evaluating often is a very healthy thing to do!
    Great list of reasons.

  10. Hollie, I have the Nike+ with the Sportsband - I use it for running and really like it.

  11. I feel you sista.. forget all that diet, and binge dieting crud.. self control is the key.

  12. Hi Hollie,
    First i have to say i am SOOO proud of you!! I agree with you WHOLE HEARTEDLY!! Taking a stand on getting healthier in general is the best way and only way in my opinion. Diets end, and when they end, you have no where to go. You can't give up whole food groups for the rest of your life, or only drink liquids. A healthy lifestyle and many small changes that add up and a good attitude is the way to go! It's the only thing thats worked for me and im down over 100 pds. with many more to go. Lord help me. Point is.. Do what works for you and your family and strive to be happy with it.

    you have also encouraged me to try harder with my kids, Ive made my journey my own and pretty much let them eat what they want, but no more!! When i pack my lunch, theyre gonna get one too!! Continue growing and losing. You are so worth it!

  13. Here are a few resources I found to share with you, Hollie:




    I just glanced at them all..did not read all the way through..but they all look like they have some good tips! :)

  14. I hate diets. They don't work. I have to look at my new eating habits as a lifestyle. That means it'll never stop being healthier.

  15. I totally get what you are saying. You are not giving up...you are giving up on your "DIET". I personally am not on a diet. I'm on a healthy lifestyle kick. I make healthy choices (most of the time). You are right..this is for LIFE...a diet is just temporary!

  16. I just started reading your blog and its great! Check out mine too. I just started. http://losingitwithmatty.blogspot.com/

  17. Hollie, it's tough finding that right balance. What I've found too is some days are just harder than others. I think as long as we never give up and continue to grow and do good things for ourself and our family we will get to where we want to be. I sure know my journey hasn't been a race lol. I say do it whatever way works for you.

  18. Hollie, I commend you tremendously to be aware of how school lunches are some of the worst nutrition that your children can eat! Jamie Olivers mission is something that all parents should be just as passionate about. I encourage you to keep at your weight loss journey.

    Each day you have choices. Either way you go the day will pass by. Each week you have a moment of accountability for your choices. Either way the scale may say that week has gone by. And so on. That is why these changes are LIFEstyle changes.

    I am excited for you to be OFF DIET and ON LIFE! Heres to making the next day, week, year, decade fun exciting and healthy!

    Love and Health,

    ~Mama Twana

  19. I completely relate to your new approach to food. I am finally realizing that trying to lose weight is not sustainable in the long run, but eating healthy is. And, when it's needed, healthy eating will often lead to weight loss anyways.

  20. Wow! That's a great list of valid reasons why you want to lose weight. So inspiring.


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