Sunday, February 28, 2010

No time like the present...right?

It is official. I am going to do the Medifast plan. I actually have been given an opportunity to do the plan at no charge to me, so I would be a FOOL to pass it up! I have been researching everything Medifast for the past four days, and truthfully, I am very excited. Yes, it is drastic, but right now I am ready to do this. I think this will really give me an opportunity to get my head in the game, and establish a good relationship with food in the process. And I definitely think once the weight starts coming off, I will be extra motivated to keep going and stay on track. Eating right and exercising for two months and seeing NO results is frustrating. I don't think this plan will fail me.

So, now the decision has been made to DO the plan, now the questions is when do I start? I should have my food some time this week. But over the weekend I made the decision to take a short road trip during our spring break, which is March 6 - March 21. My reasoning was to hold off on starting the program until March 13, since our trip is going to be from March 10 - 12. Going out of town and not being able to eat out is no fun, right? Well, I'm not really sure I want to wait!

In my research on Medifast, there is this thing called ketosis, and the first 3 days are supposed to be miserable, but critical to the program. According to the website, This ketosis causes the body's fat stores to release free fatty acids, which are then converted by the liver into an energy source called ketones. This fat-burning state helps the body achieve faster weight loss while helping preserve muscle tissue. The fat-burning state also helps naturally reduce appetite and hunger while still allowing you to feel sufficient levels of energy. It also says:

"The first three days are critical to your success, so pick a start date that makes sense for your schedule. You might want to look for a time when you don't anticipate any family, work-related, or other social-type events that involve food, which may present additional obstacles or temptations.

Medifast recommends planning ahead so you can continue your program while vacationing. If your meals aren't with you, you can't eat them! This may necessitate packing food items in your luggage or having them shipped to your destination. Pre- planning can help you continue to lose weight while you travel. Those who are able to plan and continue the program while traveling (or dining out) get the best results.

Traveling presents countless eating temptations, with the availability of foods that are not part of the Medifast Program. Always remember your end goals - a healthier weight and a healthier lifestyle."

SOOOOO....I am thinking that if I start Medifast this coming up Saturday (March 6), by the time I leave for my trip on March 10 I should have gone through the "rough phase" and be feeling pretty good on plan. As far as eating out on vacation, I really don't care about it! I am so DONE with eating out and restaurants and being fat! I am ready to get going, FINALLY! And won't it be great to go back to work on March 22 with a great loss behind me? If my results are typical of the success stories (from real people, not just the one's on the website), I can lose up to 10 lbs the first two weeks on plan! That, to me, is WAY better than eating out on a mini-vacation! I'm just going to the Tennessee Aquarium - it's not like it's Disney world or something! I can just pack my medifast food and eat it while I'm away. This is how I am going to be eating for a while, so I might as well get used to making arrangements, right?

I love the amount of feedback I get from you all, so again, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this. Should I get started right away, or should I wait until after my mini-trip?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

How drastic is TOO drastic?

Guess who has strep throat? ME! I feel terrible, but at least I don’t have an appetite. Life still goes on, so I will just have to struggle through it. Hopefully I will have the TIME to go to the doctor tomorrow. We are having some “issues” at my job and I think I would be risking my job to take off. I have class tonight, and a parent meeting, and a birthday dinner to go to. Thank GOD tomorrow is Friday!

I haven’t been “perfectly” on plan, but the binging is over. I even went out to eat last night and made good choices. I drank water, and only had a few bites of my friend’s dessert. No alcohol, but I wish I could have had a stiff drink! I had to take the kiddos on a shopping excursion for my oldest daughter’s school trip next weekend. By the time we got to the restaurant they were all driving me insane! Thank goodness my friend joined us and helped me diffuse the situation and momentarily regain my sanity, lol.

I spoke with a friend today and we talked a little about the reasons behind my inability to be consistent with my diet and exercise routine. I think my major problem is that I lack TIME. Because I run out of time in my day, I fail to PREPARE my food/plan for the day and end up eating anything I can grab quickly. I really think that if food is a “no-brainer” that I could do well. I think limiting my choices will also get me back in the mindset that I need food to live, and that I need to stop living for food. I LIKE to eat, and that affects my choices.

Last Spring when I was following my friend Yvette’s eating plan, I ate mostly the same meals each day. I really didn’t get bored with it, either, because I wasn’t concentrating on the food. The food was just fuel… nothing else. I have tried to get back to that mentality, but just can’t seem to get the mojo back. I have severe portion distortion, and can’t seem to get past wanting to eat what I want, instead of what I need. Then I go back to the lack of preparation… when I am not prepared I tend to grab what I want instead of what I need. Does this make sense at all?

I am thinking of doing something sort of “drastic”. “Drastic” as in going on a “diet” where all of my food is pretty much planned out for me ahead of time. “Drastic” as in my choices will be limited, but weight loss is pretty much guaranteed. I have researching the new Medifast plan (5 of their meals, 1 that I prepare). If I can work out the financial aspect of it, I think I am gonna do it. Or at least try it and give it 100%. The prospect of having pre-made meals (that I DON’T have to prepare) that I can just grab and go with everyday is VERY appealing to me. The one meal I prepare on my own is a lean meat and veggies, which I prepare 5/7 nights at my house anyway (because even when I am not on plan I cook this for my children).

At this point, doing it "on my own" is not giving me results. Small, gradual changes is not giving me weight loss, and it is frustrating. Maybe years of yo-yo dieting have just ruined my body. I eat 100% better than did 2 years ago, but I am still "stuck". Maybe drastic is just what I need right now. But is it too drastic?

I would love to hear of any experiences/thoughts/comments you have about Medifast…

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Turning it around...

Today has been 100% on plan. No sugar. No caffeine. Meals/snacks every three hours. Healthy, clean food. All my supplements. Plenty (but not my usual 130 oz) of water. Compared to the last several weeks, or hell, even YESTERDAY... today was perfect. Food-wise...

Otherwise I am still stressed as hell. For those of you who have been following for a while, I am in school trying to obtain my teacher's license and Master's in education. Well, this is my last semester for my coursework for my license and it is crunch time! I have to take all these state tests in March, and just found out Friday that I have to do this teacher interview process at my school. It is supposed to be for students who are planning to student teach (which I am not), so I didn't think I had to do it. No one told me I had to do it.... WRONG. So now, I have to scramble to put a portfolio together and get recommendations, etc all by March 1! That is besides the 1,000,000 other things I do daily...

AND my youngest was sent home from school sick today. Took her to the doctor and she has STREP throat. Yeah... that's just great.

I really want to thank everyone who commented on yesterday's post. I really hate feeling like I've let anyone down, but instead of making me feel that way, I felt so encouraged by all the comments. We really are all in this together, and I thought about each and everyone of you guys whenever I wanted to run and hide somewhere with about 5 cadbury eggs. Not only do I not want to let you down, but I don't want to let me down, either. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am so DONE with thinking this is a goal I can't accomplish. I CAN and I WILL lose weight and be healthy. I won't quit!

Monday, February 22, 2010


Just a quick post to let ya'll know I am still here... but I am struggling so bad. I have been binging again... even though I really hate to admit it on here. But you all keep me so accountable, so I had to say it. I hate to let anyone down, but I have let myself down and it sucks.

I wake up each day vowing to get back on track, but so far, I have not made it through a whole day. My life has got crazy again, and I just don't know how to handle it...yet. I am not giving up, and I will get my ass in gear. I just REALLY have to get my priorities in order, and trust GOD that everything will work out in the long run. I have to get my focus back on ME.

WHEW. Just getting this out in the open already makes me feel hopeful that I can turn it around tomorrow...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Time to REFOCUS!

Wow... Does this happen every year? Everyone starts off so strong on January 1 with their weight loss goals and plans for healthy living. The gym is packed and everyone is on a diet. Then around mid-February, everyone loses that momentum and it's back to the same old bad habits. I am totally guilty of this every year. And today, as I was eating a donut and drinking a cup of coffee, I realized that I am totally losing focus on this journey...AGAIN. The question is... am I going to keep going down this path, or get my butt in gear?

I am most definitely gonna stop the madness NOW! The past two weekends have been TERRIBLE! As I was driving around, running errands this evening, I took some time to reflect on WHY I am veering off track:

1. Due to an unusual amount of winter weather in TN, my children and I have been having way too many days off from school and our structure is out the window!
2. My daughter is doing after-school tutoring and getting ready to go on a science trip at school and almost every afternoon she is late coming home from school... which pushes my gym trip after dinner... then I am tired and losing momentum...
3. I am not preparing my lunch and supplements at night like I am supposed to...
4. I have stopped saying "no" to people who offer me food that is NOT on my plan.
5. I have started dating again... which has equaled late-night snacking, eating out, and too much wine!

The good thing is that I am gonna get back on track NOW instead of waiting until I have completely fell of the wagon. Right now, I don't feel like I am at the starting over point... just at the point where I need to get my priorities straight. I admit that when I start having fun, I lose focus. But part of this journey is learning how to have fun AND stay focused on my eating and exercise. It really helps that my new man is 100% supportive of me and my weight loss and encourages me so much to be my personal best. We talked tonight about how we have BOTH lost focus of our goals and priorities, and we are going to push each other to get back on track.

I am gonna crack open my Fat Flush book tonight and devise a plan for a detox starting TOMORROW MORNING. I just got the call that school has been cancelled tomorrow, so I also plan to have a long gym trip tomorrow, too! I have been really wanting a pedicure, so I decided that would be a good treat for me on Sunday if I can stay on plan 100% for the next 5 days (Tues - Sat). I am also going to start a new IntroLeague challenge to carry me into Spring Break (stay tuned for more details).

Let's NOT lose focus just because the "newness" of the "new year" has worn off... this journey is 365!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Back to NORMAL

After a weekend of “off” eating and not following plan, it feels good to be back to “normal”. Funny, but I no longer feel like I am on a “diet”. I am finally settling into a routine that is feeling like a “lifestyle”. Suddenly, it’s as if making healthy food choices and spending time each night in the gym is just something I do.

Tuesday we were out of school for a snow day (again!). I went to the store that afternoon, but right after dinner I got this horrible headache that I ended up going to bed with. So, I didn’t go to the gym because everyone kept saying it wouldn’t be a good idea with the headache. I really felt upset about not going! Like I was cheating, or doing something wrong. But the headache was so bad I could barely see out of my right eye. I don’t know what caused it, but it was gone by the time I woke up yesterday.

Yesterday morning was just a disaster... I woke up late, the kids were acting a fool, and it was a blizzard outside to drive to school in. They cancel schools around her when it threatens to snow, but the morning it is pouring down snow and slick outside, we had to go to school anyway! But the day did get better. I got a great workout in last night, and had a wonderfully healthy dinner (tilapia, asparagus, and a baked sweet potato).

Sometimes when I cook a healthy meal and really like it, I reflect on how far I’ve come. Pizza and fried chicken just don’t do it for me anymore! The whole time I am eating it, I just think about how horrible it is for my body. Then I feel like crap afterwards. But when I eat clean, whole, nutritious food, my body thanks me for it!

Yesterday I had to stop by the store to pick up some items for my kids to take to school for their Valentine’s parties tomorrow. One child had to bring chips; the other had to bring a bag of candy. SO, while in the candy aisle, I saw the Russell Stover and Cadbury Eggs and just REALLY wanted to get one of each. That was my old habit – to get one RS egg and one Cadbury egg each time I went to the store, and I would eat it in private on the way home. But yesterday, even though I wanted one, I did NOT indulge. And guess what? By the time I got to the checkout line I’d forgot all about the damned eggs! They are JUST NOT WORTH IT!

Class is cancelled tonight, so I will most definitely be able to get to the gym. I have some leftover taco soup from Tuesday that I plan on eating for dinner. Staying focused and on track!

Monday, February 8, 2010


This weekend was "off". I was completely "off" my routine and not on plan. I went away for the weekend and didn't prepare. It's funny how you slip back into old habits when you're not prepared. But I have no regrets. I had fun, and now it's back to business. It is what it is. This is real life, and I know that these "off" periods are always going to be a part of my life. I am not excusing bad behavior, but I know that everything will not always be "perfect". My goal is that one day, I will have been on plan and living this lifestyle for so long that my "off" days won't really be "off" days at all. Does that make sense?

My plan to make up for this weekend is to be perfectly back on plan this week and to put in extra cardio time at the gym. Today's eating was at about 80% and I put in 1 1/2 hours at the gym. One hour of cardio (Bike and elliptical) and 20+ minutes of weights (upper body). After 3 days with no gym, my body was CRAVING exercise. I NEVER thought I would say that!

Tomorrow should be better as far as eating because I am going grocery shopping. I needed to go days ago but my unplanned weekend meant no grocery shopping and no laundry, lol. Like I said, it was worth it! I also drinking all my water again and have been peeing like crazy all day!

Another thing I must start doing tomorrow is journaling my food. I haven't journaled in over a week and I know that I am much more accountable when I am journaling.

Seems like there was something else I wanted to say, but I am wiped out! I promise to have more interesting things to say TOMORROW!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Biggest Loser? Not me - yet!

Sorry it's been a few days since I last posted. All has been well... we just ended up being out of school for a week because of the snow! Today was our first day back. I am still plugging along... just got back from the gym. I have been every day this week since I was snowed in on Saturday. I am feeling so good about working out. I have also been eating well... not been journaling, though :( I take that back... I have been journaling for this Healthy Challenge we're having at work... just not counting calories. I am eating healthy/clean in the same measured portions that I have been eating for the past few weeks, so I am fairly certain I am in my range. (As I type this, I am vowing to get back on it!)

After I got pissed off at the scale Monday, I admit I was still pretty bummed about it for a day or so. I miss the scale, but I know I have to let that number go and look at what I can see. My daughter helped me take my measurements on Tuesday. I can also still feel my pants getting looser, and someone actually told me last night they could tell I was getting smaller (thought I was wearing SPANX!). Most importantly, I can SEE a difference in the mirror, and I feel like a million bucks. I just can't let that scale dictate my success.

I got a text from a friend on Tuesday during Biggest Loser. She suggested that we sign up to be contestants, and I immediately thought "Hell, no." When I told her the idea didn't interest me, she said "What if you could lose 100+ lbs?". I informed her that I planned on losing 100+ lbs WITHOUT being on Biggest Loser, it just might take longer. Besides, who would watch my children? Losing weight quick is not worth my children being without their only parent for weeks. No, I just don't think it's worth it. I realized after that short conversation that I am confident for the first time that I CAN and I WILL get this weight off! Yes, it might take time - hell, I have 130 lbs to lose! But no matter how long it takes, I will not give up. I will not quit, and I will work hard for my goal.

This is my year. It might take a little while for my progress to show up on the scale, but I AM making progress. In two weeks, I have been to the gym for at least 45 minutes every day except for two days! I am eating clean again (90%) and making changes in the way I am thinking about food. I am finally aware! Now, it's about being consistent and sticking with it!

Monday, February 1, 2010

No More Scale!

Ok... the scale officially has to go. I got up this morning to get a Feb 1 weight to compare with my Jan 1 weight. The last time I weighed I was down about 4 lbs for this WEEK. But today, I was exactly at the same weight I was on January 1... 290.4. On Friday, I weighted 286.2. I will admit, I wasn't totally OP yesterday, but I was within my calories and had an hour of cardio at the gym. I will also add that I know TOM is coming. So I know there is an explanation for the fluctuation... BUT IT STILL PISSES ME OFF!

For the last two weeks I have worked my butt off to stay 100% on plan for 6/7 days, and 80% on plan for that one day. I have eaten clean. Yesterday was the first time I've had caffeine or sugar in WEEKS. And even that was just a one-time thing - not an all day binge-out. I am feeling so good about the way I am eating. And exercise? I have been in the gym every day (except Sat b/c it was closed for snow). So, knowing that I am giving it my best effort, why am I gonna let this scale number mess with me?

I was so mad this morning, I went in the kitchen to make breakfast, and something in my head almost said "f*ck it... what difference does it make anyway...". Luckily, I don't listen to "Fat Hollie" a lot anymore, and proceeded to make my healthy oatmeal. I also know that "urge" to binge has to do with the cookies (sugar) I had yesterday morning. See, I KNOW all of this. I am listening and paying attention. I am not going to give in because I know I am more than just a number on the scale.

I can look in the mirror and see progress. I can feel my clothes feeling loose and comfortable again. I feel awesome. SO... I have decided to FINALLY take my measurements today. And I have decided to get rid of the scale. My relationship with it is unhealthy - the scale actually sits beside my bed, lol. Science tells me that the number on the scale will eventually catch up. I also got this from Prior Fat Girl (Jen)... it's about what the scale DOESN'T say:


This really opened my eyes, and it's so clear that it's time to take real measurements and stop relying on the scale to see my progress... As long as I am on plan and working out like I am, I will lose weight and get toned and reach my goal!