Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I must NOT let my emotions win!
I think it's safe to say that most people who battle with being overweight have had to deal with emotional eating. I know that emotional eating is a big hurdle for me... I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am sad. Food has always been my go-to whenever I am going through something. I have to try so hard to say no... sometimes the urge to eat can be so overwhelming. The hunger pains and the cravings have made me miserable. But if I have learned anything, I have learned that the hunger is not for food. It's always for something else. Food can never fill the emptiness. And I always end up feeling like sh*t after I fill myself up with food when food is not what I am hungry for. It's a vicious cycle.
A few days ago, I got some news about a friend of mine that hurt my heart a little. But over the past few days, it has festered, and along with getting more bad news about that person today, my heart is officially broken about it. After school today, I had planned on meeting Brooke for some "girl time". We had even planned on our girl time revolving around a salad! But when I got home, the furnace repair people were here with bad news... the furnace had to be replaced. Thankfully, I am a renter so the repair was not my tab, but it did mean that I could not go on my "girl date" with Brooke. It also meant I didn't have a plan for dinner. The kids had take-out, but I had nothing! Sooo... while all this is going on, I got "the phone call", and I felt myself spinning out of control... I just wanted to eat something. Being hungry for real didn't help at all!
So... I popped a piece of double-fiber whole wheat bread in the toaster, and spread some reduced fat cream cheese on top. It was quick, and it took the hunger away. I allowed myself a mini-cry session, and now I feel better! I am not over it, but I will be. I am going to make a protein shake in just a bit, then head to the grocery. It is supposed to snow tomorrow, and they have already canceled schools, so I will officially have a day off with my kiddos tomorrow. I need to make sure I have good food and snacks here for all of us.
The best thing about tonight is how I really leaned on my friends to help me stop the emotional binge before it started. Brooke reminded me that I need to concentrate on making myself better and stronger, and she's right. I need to keep my focus on me! The other situation will work itself out - but me eating and getting off track won't fix a thing! It's just gonna make me feel worse. I also texted Yvette and she was immediately available for encouragement. Both of my friends reminded me that food will not ever make me feel better, or make the heartache go away. What WILL make me feel better is to know that I am the best ME I can possibly be - no matter what my circumstances are. I have to stay focused, and be mindful that 2010 is a new year full of new possibilities for me! No BS!!!!!