Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Feeling "normal"

The past few days have been pretty good as far as eating is concerned... almost back to "normal"... whatever the hell that is. We went to church Sunday for the first time since Easter - and that went well. Some of you know I have issues and reservations about church, but I really think I was meant to be there. You know how it is when you think the preacher is talking about you? Yeah, it was one of those sermons...

Both yesterday and today have been smooth eating days for me. Yesterday I had an unscheduled bowl of cereal before bed and a few Starburst at work, but today has been pretty damned perfect eating-wise. I even made it to the gym YESTERDAY and TODAY, which is huge. Both days I did 45 min on the elliptical and 15 minutes weights. Let me tell you, I can really feel those weights. My arms and legs are so sore... Tomorrow is the true exercise test... I have school Wed and Thurs evenings, so I won't have gym time. My goal is to do a DVD both days before bed. I've even been toying with the idea of {{{waking up early}}}...

My daughter is hating me so bad right now on all fronts. First, I put her on a diet. She complained of being hungry yesterday, so I added flaxseed oil and protein this morning and she said she felt much better. She also turned down a Little Debbie Nutty Bar that my mother tried to give her in exchange for a little pack of peanut butter crackers for an after school snack today. See, I'm still struggling with preparedness and time issues, so I forgot we had parent-teacher conferences right after school and didn't have a snack ready for her. She was so proud to announce that she turned down the Nutty bar in favor of the crackers, and I really praised her for making the better choice. I know both snacks aren't ideal, but the fact she TRIED to make a good choice is what I'm aiming for. She's mad at me now because I am putting her in tutoring - she can get over THAT one, too.

Sunday for church, I dug out an old dress that I haven't wore in over two years. I wore it to my college graduaton in May 2007 and havent touched it since because it was too tight. I remember wearing two girdles with this dress, and the circulation being cut off to my thighs during the two hour comencement ceremony. Then the long distance to and front of the car with thighs rubbing was murder. I was miserable. Here are some pics from that day...

So, I pulled this same dress out on Sunday and it was hanging off me... with no girdle. Sometimes I get down because I've only lost about 60 lbs, and have been stuck here for a while. But at least I'm not there anymore - more than 330 lbs and miserable in my skin and my clothes. Here is a picture from Sunday. This is definitely not perfection, but I'm getting there.


  1. that's really amazing holly - the difference is phenomenal! i'm also struggling with weight loss at the moment so i put a 'fat' photo on my desktop picture and it reminds me that i'm not the person i was and serves as a warning that if I don't stick with it I could be there again. congrats!

  2. Yes, I agree that the difference is amazing! Thanks for your post.. I needed that inspiration. I had a horrible day with my diet today. Sigh. I am sick and tired of battling the urge to binge.

  3. Woman, you look amazing.
    and because Im not you/walking in your shoes the fact you even think this surprised me. alot:
    Sometimes I get down because I've only lost about 60 lbs

    thats one bigbig victory woman.

    plateau schmateau.
    we'll burst on thru this....
    have a great day.
    here's hoping youre already up. at 'em and DVDing.


  4. Throw that hanging dress away and get you a fab new dress (if your budget allows). Money is tight but I bit the bullet and I recently bought myself a new dress because I got tired of my clothes hanging off my body. Check it out http://mesohongry.blogspot.com/2009/10/aint-no-stopping-me-now.html

    I'm glad things are a lot smoother for you and good for you on getting to the gym. I think I'm experiencing those same preparedness issues. But we'll both work through it.

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  6. I have to say you are a godsend! Just when I was about to give up on my weight loss efforts, I decided to look for inspirational blogs, and I found yours. It took me three days to read it from start to finish,(even neglected the chores around my house) but I'm glad I did! You have gone through so much in comparison to me, and yet here you are today, still fighting the good fight! You are such a strong and courageous woman, and if you can do it, I can too! Thank you so much for your blog, and for sharing it with the world! Congratulations on your weight loss so far, and I wish you the best on your continuing journey!

  7. You look great! I noticed you said you had an unstructured meal. Do you keep a food diary? That might help to keep you on track if you're planning your meals in advance. If you already are, take a look at why you became unstructured. Structure House, where I work, is a residential program that helps people learn to understand their 'relationship with food'. If you can identify the moments where you went off track and why it happened (stress, boredom, or habit, for instance), that can help you to make changes so that next time you can use something other than food to satisfy whatever the real issue is. Keep up the good work!

  8. Hollie you are such an inspiration! I really am amazed at the progress you have made and know that you are setting such a great example for your daughter!!

    Keep fighting the good fight!

  9. Hollie This is awesome! Kudos to you for your honest reading style as well! Don't think for a second that you having lost only 61 pounds is anything less than amazing. Just you making that known shows that you have the strength to keep it going. If I may, have you ever tried breaking old habits with your daughter? I have been doing something fresh with my clients and it has really accelerated their weight loss - salad for breakfast! Before you dismiss it, I made a video showing how to make it and how quickly it can be done.


    Hope you enjoyed your DVD's!

    Jamie Atlas

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