I need to write. Daily.
When I first started my blog 8 years ago, I started it as a journal. A way to document my journey and a way to write out my thoughts and feelings about my life. It turned into so much more... and as I've said many times over the past few years... At some point I stopped writing for ME.
I am so grateful for the friends I've made through blogging and social media. Blogging has afforded me some amazing opportunities (TWO trips to NYC!), and I've also received incredible encouragement and support from an online community of like-minded individuals.
But the larger that audience grew, the more I feel like I pulled back from putting my full emotions and heart into writing.
Because people are now watching. People I know in REAL life. It became hard to put my business out there.
Now, though... things have changed a little. It might be me, but I don't think people read blogs as much as they used to. Seems crazy, but I think Facebook and other social media gets all the views. Which may be a good thing.
Because I need to write. I need to blog again. I need the outlet.
Writing is my 'thing'. It's my talent. My creative gift.
And I need it right now. I need that outlet.
But I don't want to be censored. I don't want to have to pick and choose what I disclose. I need for this to be a diary again. Somewhere that I can be candid and emotional.
Because my life is going into a whole new realm right now and I need to process it in the only way I know how. By writing through it. By writing about it.
2016 has been a breakthrough year for me. I have gone from just existing to actually LIVING in my purpose. But finding my purpose and getting past fear has been so transformative that I am now facing a lot of... emotions?... that maybe I wasn't prepared for.
Life seems so BIG now. The possibilities for my future are so endless. And for the first time in my life I KNOW without a DOUBT that I am on the edge of greatness. But it's still a lot to process.
Because I'm not there...yet. Close. But not close enough.
My brain is always on TEN lately. I have a pretty long commute every day (2+ hours total) and I spend that time listening to Podcasts or audio books. I'm in a constant state of personal development nowadays. And I get so many ideas while I'm driving! So much inspiration and so many ah-ha moments. But then I get to my destination (work or home) and my role as teacher or mom begins and I am suddenly carried away from my thoughts or ideas and they take a while to come back.
So, I had an idea today. I need to start writing again. I need to make notes in a small notebook that I carry in my purse or keep in my car (don't worry... I won't do it while driving, lol). I can also make a voice memo on my phone. But then I need to immediately write about it. Whether it's in my journal, or via Blogger. I need to start writing about it all.
Because my thoughts are important right now. I need to document these feelings and what is going on in my life right now.
It might be helpful to someone in the future. Or even now. Or... it could just sound like jumbled rubbish and only make sense to me.
Either way... it will be here. So if you choose to read, that's fine. If no one reads, that's fine, too.
I'm going back to writing for me. Because I need to. And I give myself permission to do what's best for me.