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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Transforming...

Today while at the gym, I had about a million things going on in my head. For the past week or more, changes have been brewing. Well, actually, changes have been HAPPENING for a while, but even MORE things lately.

For anyone who reads this that follows my other blog (SkinnyHollie), you already know that I recently relocated to Jacksonville, FL. Just because I always wanted to live in Florida and decided to just do it. Well, that one big step has completely been pivotal to a new way of living for me.

See... I was born and raised in TN. Never lived anywhere else. So moving to Florida was HUGE. Many close to me didn't really even think I would do it. But I did. And it was hard. It was expensive. And it completely removed me from my comfort zone.

And I love it.

I love the sun and the heat and the beach and the diversity. It's what I wanted, and I have such new, amazing experiences all the time. I love it here. I'm so glad I moved.

But there are a few things I don't like... I don't like living in an apartment. Which I already knew. But since we were moving here without no prior knowledge of the city, and also without knowing a soul, I didn't want to buy a house just yet. I wanted a chance to learn the city a bit before I sign up for something as big as buying a house. But I am already over apartment living. I'm ready to buy a house.

I also do not like my job. (Gasp). Don't get me wrong... I LOVE being a special educator. All I've ever wanted to be in my life is a teacher. But I feel like it's time to step away. Maybe for a time. Or maybe forever. I honestly can't say. Burnout was already happening in TN, and I was really looking forward to a change in educational systems and schools to renew my love for my career. But it hasn't. It's worse. I don't feel like I'm serving children anymore. I feel like I'm following rules that were made for general education students... rules that are more about increasing test scores and funding and not what is really best for kids. It's just different. And different in a bad way. Did I mention I took a pretty big pay cut?

Which has led me to think about changes. Changes that will take me WAY out of my comfort zone. Changes that will overcome my fears about being inadequate or not quite good enough.

I can't wait to ramble and share my new journey.

Please know... I have NOT given up on weight loss. I am still considerably overweight and have gained a LOT since moving to Florida. (I like to call it happy weight, lol). I am uncomfortable and I am already on my way to getting back on track. But at some point, it has become more than apparent to me that my transformation has to be both inside and out. And maybe this is why I can only get so far in my weight loss before I regress and regain.

I have been taking two steps forward and three steps back for a long time.

But I have learned so much along the way.

My transformation will include weight loss because I am truly trying to reach overall HEALTH. It's a promise I made myself when my mom passed away (she died on August 31). But it will also include overall self-improvement and stepping out of my comfort zone.

I'm so excited. The future is so bright.

5 comments:

  1. I am a 39 year old special educator as well! I think you are incredibly brave for up and moving, I think about it all the time. I am astounded that you are on the other side of the world and have the same issues of funding and testing that we do! It really has changed our roles right? And not for the better! Good luck with your movement to another career pathway.

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  2. Education is tough!!!! I have been a guidance counselor since 2004 and taught Spanish for 13 years before that. It's not an easy field. Maybe your particular area is more challenging. See if there's another area you might find more your niche. I love my job as a guidance counselor. Good luck house hunting!!!

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  3. So many exciting things are happening for you! Way to go!

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  4. Reading this made me smile. One I suddenly have been stepping out my comfort zone. I returned to school to become a teacher. I am also about to take a new job. MORE money because I feel this change coming over me. I am going to start a blog to document the process. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. Reading this made me smile. One I suddenly have been stepping out my comfort zone. I returned to school to become a teacher. I am also about to take a new job. MORE money because I feel this change coming over me. I am going to start a blog to document the process. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete