Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Happy (late) New Year!

I figured that I would let all of the "new year, new me" posts pass before I finally decided to blog something this year.

I'm kidding. I've just been procrastinating.

I haven't exactly been on track yet this year. I've pretty much been off the rails since Halloween, to be honest.

I have every excuse in the book. I've been stressed. I've been sick. I've been unmotivated. I've been happy. I've been sad. I've been depressed.

I woke up this morning and decided that I'm done making excuses. It's time for me to get my shit together.

I've gained so much weight. Like, 20+ lbs since November. I'm uncomfortable. My clothes are so tight. I'm out of breath and my heartburn is back. 

I'm miserable. 

But I am not doing anything about it. 

Because I'm obviously not miserable enough to make the changes I need to.

See, I want to eat. I still want what I want as far as food goes. I want 'moderation' but I can't make it work for me. So it pisses me off. And I just keep eating. 

I don't know the answers. Well, I do, but I don't like the answer.

I don't want to diet, and I don't want to eliminate anything. But all signs point to me doing both.

And it makes me mad.

I don't know why, with all the knowledge I've gained about weight loss and nutrition, that I still can't get this right. Why am I still banging my head against the wall?

I don't know. But I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.