This seems to be the new catch-phrase in my life lately.
As much as I wanted it to be the answer, the Whole 30 didn't last long for me. I tried to even ease out of it into a Paleo-style way of eating.
That hasn't seemed to work, either.
I think it's the restriction. When I start restricting my mind goes crazy. Like a switch goes off and I have an insatiable urge for everything I'm supposed to be restricting.
I tried carb-cycling for two days last week.
And then the 4th of July rolls around and I woke up wanting to have a cookout with friends. It was actually a blast, and I didn't regret anything I ate.
But the eating on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today... I'm kinda regretting.
I am feeling like a diet failure. Again.
It's July 8 and my summer is almost over. Teacher inservices start tomorrow. I got back to work on July 25. And my 20-year reunion is August 2.
AND I still haven't lost any weight this summer.
Yes, I have maintained. I have exercised and I haven't miserably failed and started gaining weight.
But my intention was to lose weight this summer. Why can't I just lose weight?
I am over it. It's the one thing in my life that I can't get right or be content with, and I just hate that! It irritates me to no end.
I was standing in the kitchen last week griping about my diet and food and my teenaged daughter looked at me and said, "Momma, you know that diets don't work. That's your problem."
I hated to admit she was right. But I was still trying to Whole 30.
THEN another friend said the same thing a few days ago. Diets don't work. Stop dieting.
Damned if I didn't log into Instagram this morning and a friend had posted a link to another guy's account who just wrote a book with the title, "Diets Don't Work".
I think it's a sign.
My goal for the rest of the week is to just track using MFP. I went in and defaulted the goals... I am just going to try to follow what they say. I am going to try not to stress about the food. Just track.
I refuse to give up, but damn. I'm so sick of diet and weight loss right now. I just want to be normal. I just want to have a NORMAL relationship with food. I just want to see weight loss as a result of effort. I just don't want to feel STUCK anymore.
Is that too much to ask?