Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Thankful for friends...

Throughout this journey, I have made some amazing friends. I have really build a phenomenal support system over the years through this online community of bloggers.

But over the past few days, I have received snippets of wisdom and encouragement from people that are close to me in real life. Man, it feels good to know that so many people are pushing me along and are here for me during times like these.

I'm home today with a sick child - nasty virus going around my neck of the woods. So I'm taking some time to catch up on couponing and blog reading. I'm also taking some time to really wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to have to detox from all refined carbs, not just sweet stuff.

After I made my announcement the other day that I was giving up "sweet stuff", so many people inboxed me or texted me words of wisdom of how hard it was going to be. Because carbs crave carbs. Its so hard to single out a single type of "bad" carb when you're eating other bad carbs. So after struggling BIG TIME with cravings on Monday, I decided to just "try" cutting all bad carbs on yesterday. All of my carbs on yesterday came from fruits and veggies.

And even though it was still hard, it wasn't nearly as bad as Monday. I still wanted pizza, and candy, and nachos, but I wasn't miserable. I ate a lot of protein so that I wouldn't be hungry. I also drank a lot of water.

I also reminded myself that I have an addiction. And the only way I will truly overcome it is if I stop trying to fool myself into thinking I can have my drug of choice in moderation. I just can't have it.

I know I've tried to give up carbs in the past. And have had no long-term success. But I have to try again. I know it's the key.

But it's scary. Can I really live without my favorite foods for the rest of my life? I don't know, but for now, they have to go. What I DO know is that I can't live like this anymore. I'm in pain... foot pain, back pain, knee pain. My weight is uncomfortable. I feel gross in my skin. I'm avoiding mirrors again. I am unhappy with myself. I have to change something... now. So if that means giving up the drug that's possibly making me this miserable, so be it.

When I'm at goal weight, I'll see if that piece of cake is worth it. But I'm thinking that I won't care about it at all...