Friday, July 27, 2012

Day 69 - Peace

This is my new FB banner... my challenges have definitely changed me. For the better.

I had another "epiphany" in the shower this morning.

Then last two days have been rough. I am tired. I have no energy. I am unhappy. And all I can think about is my diet.

So far, I HATE being sugar-free.

It's not about withdrawals anymore. I am over that. I just hate the lack of variety in the food I am eating. I don't have time to cook or shop since I'm back at work, so it's basically eggs and salads. Night before last, I had a meltdown. Cried myself to sleep again.

Yesterday, I just felt resigned to my fate. Is this what a lifetime of yo-yo dieting gets you? A body that rejects healthy food and exercise?

The truth is, when it comes to diets and weight loss, EVERYONE has an opinion. The other night (when I had the meltdown), I came across so many opinions and so much advice for whatEVER kind of diet plan that's out there it was just OVERWHELMING! Is there a RIGHT WAY? REALLY?

The answer is no. Sugar-free/low-carb isn't for everyone. Neither is low fat. Neither is Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or even Body by Vi. What works for some WILL NOT work for everyone. Everyone is unique in that way. And people change over time. What works when you're in your 30's might not work in your 40's.

Back to my epiphany... In the shower this morning, I made the decision to STOP THE MADNESS. I can't stress over this any longer. Just because my numbers do not reflect all my hard work this summer, that does not make me a failure. I've gained great habits regarding food. My fitness level is growing in ways that make me feel so much stronger. I am better than I was 69 days ago. Because I am trying.

If I never lose another pound, I KNOW that I am trying. And for that reason, I will not quit. I will keep moving forward with a healthy diet and exercise plan. I will eat healthy food that I love (including my protein shakes and fruit) in moderation, and I will continue to stay low-carb. But if I mess up, I will NOT hate myself for it. In fact, I will schedule in "cheat" meals at least once per week. I will keep going to the gym, and I will know my body is changing, if only on the inside! The important thing is to stay on the journey, no matter what.

I was happy to just count calories and eat anything I wanted in moderation... but going no sugar for the past week has also helped me realize that I need to really get the majority of carbs out of my diet, too. And I will. But it may be more of a process than something that happens overnight. I need to build my list of go-to foods so that I'm not just eating eggs and lettuce.

I have asked Clyde to take my scale away (since I obviously can't control my urges, lol). He is to only let me weigh in on Fridays. If I lose... that is GREAT. If not, I will look at how well I did for the week and take it from there. Even if I know that I totally rocked it with diet and exercise, I will NOT let that number discourage me.

What is the point of being stressed out and miserable about my diet? Is that going to get me to my goal sooner than later?

I don't think so!