Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 40 - Not always JUST A NUMBER...

This is what I wake up to each and every morning... right beside my bed. Even when I'm not on plan and eating terribly, I still wake up to these scales. They have this crazy power over me...

Usually when I'm "on plan" and eating well, the scales are nice to me. They delight me every morning with a lower number. I step on all three... ALL THREE. Just to make sure the numbers are accurate.

But when I'm not doing so well, I avoid them. I walk right on past them. But I can feel their glare. Telling me that I know I'm in the wrong. That I need to get back on track.

Since the beginning of the year, my scales have pretty much been my enemy. Years of abusing my body with yo-yo dieting and extreme ups and downs have really hurt my effort to lose. My body just won't cooperate anymore. It's been tricked too many times. And the numbers on the scale just won't cooperate.

Yesterday I was really upset. Discouraged. Let down.

For 39 days I had been so good for 80% of the time. For the past 3 weeks or so, I have been on my game. I am averaging 75 minutes/day of cardio, 5 out of 7 days. I am pushing myself. I am eating right. Even started counting calories to make sure!

But I am NOT. Losing. WEIGHT.

Am I losing fat? Probably. Have I lost inches? Yep. Do I feel great? Absolutely!

But those damn numbers haunt me. The dictate my day. They make me feel worthless. They make me want to throw my hands up and quit.

But I'm not a quitter. Far from it.

The scales just have to go. I boxed them up, and my daughter took them out to the shed outside.

I will weigh myself again on August 17... the last day of my 90-day challenge.

Until then, I will figure out the best way to move forward.

But as long as I am TRYING, I can't see where I can go wrong. I will figure out the right combination of cardio, strength training, and calories. But until I do, I won't let a number on a scale knock me off track MENTALLY. 

As long as I am drinking my shakes, staying within a set amount of calories, and exercising at least 30 minutes 4 to 5 times per week, how can I go WRONG? I might not lose the weight in record time, but I will eventually lose it. But I will definitely be gaining HEALTH along the way there. 

That's what's important.