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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 40 - Not always JUST A NUMBER...


This is what I wake up to each and every morning... right beside my bed. Even when I'm not on plan and eating terribly, I still wake up to these scales. They have this crazy power over me...

Usually when I'm "on plan" and eating well, the scales are nice to me. They delight me every morning with a lower number. I step on all three... ALL THREE. Just to make sure the numbers are accurate.

But when I'm not doing so well, I avoid them. I walk right on past them. But I can feel their glare. Telling me that I know I'm in the wrong. That I need to get back on track.

Since the beginning of the year, my scales have pretty much been my enemy. Years of abusing my body with yo-yo dieting and extreme ups and downs have really hurt my effort to lose. My body just won't cooperate anymore. It's been tricked too many times. And the numbers on the scale just won't cooperate.

Yesterday I was really upset. Discouraged. Let down.

For 39 days I had been so good for 80% of the time. For the past 3 weeks or so, I have been on my game. I am averaging 75 minutes/day of cardio, 5 out of 7 days. I am pushing myself. I am eating right. Even started counting calories to make sure!

But I am NOT. Losing. WEIGHT.

Am I losing fat? Probably. Have I lost inches? Yep. Do I feel great? Absolutely!

But those damn numbers haunt me. The dictate my day. They make me feel worthless. They make me want to throw my hands up and quit.

But I'm not a quitter. Far from it.


The scales just have to go. I boxed them up, and my daughter took them out to the shed outside.

I will weigh myself again on August 17... the last day of my 90-day challenge.

Until then, I will figure out the best way to move forward.

But as long as I am TRYING, I can't see where I can go wrong. I will figure out the right combination of cardio, strength training, and calories. But until I do, I won't let a number on a scale knock me off track MENTALLY. 

As long as I am drinking my shakes, staying within a set amount of calories, and exercising at least 30 minutes 4 to 5 times per week, how can I go WRONG? I might not lose the weight in record time, but I will eventually lose it. But I will definitely be gaining HEALTH along the way there. 

That's what's important.

10 comments:

  1. Maybe you could try having a measuring tape beside your bed instead of the scales..if you need the visual motivation then measuring the inches lost on your body might be just the thing to get you to where you want to be..
    Keep up the good fight...!!! I think your doing an awesome job.. :)

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  2. I have to be honest, that picture of the 3 scales scared me. I know the power and pull they can have so to see all 3 lined up along the wall freaked me out. I'm glad you have decided to put them away for a while and just let your mind at ease a bit. Keep working hard, you will be rewarded eventually.

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  3. I know exactly what you mean I am definitely guilty of ignoring them when I'm not doing so well and abusing them when I am. Like you I shouldn't be taking my health for granted because that's more important than a number. Good Luck :)

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  4. New reader here! Hello!

    3 scales? Although they can help to see all your hard work, by resulting in weight loss, don't be a slave to them! As long as you are working hard, eating right and staying on track-- forget about them! The focus should be on healthy habits, because then the weight loss will follow. Keep up the hard work! :)

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  5. you could be gaining muscle and that's why the scales aren't changing much:D

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  6. Don't forget there is more to life to scales and weight.

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  7. All for numbers? haha. It shows success!

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  8. scale is just a number!! as long as u eat healthy and exercise regularly!!! dun be overly obsessed with yr weight!!!!!! rmb yr goal is to be healthy!!!

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  9. Hi :) I just stumbled upon your site and wanted to say THANK YOU for your honesty about this process! Sometimes I read people's blogs where it feels like they didn't ever have setbacks, and that's just not my journey, so thanks! Also, I totally understand the scale obsession! Ugh.

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