Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Day 4... Why not me?

This week has been INSANE. But the end of the school year always is, I guess. Tomorrow is the last day with students. Then I have to work Friday and 1/2 day Saturday. Yes... our school district always has the last report card day on Saturday. It's been like that for as long as I remember.

This Saturday is also my birthday... I will be 36! I am now sliding into 40...

And maybe that is why I've been so reflective today.

So far, my 90-day challenge is going well. I have YET to get to the gym, but my focus right now is just drinking the two shakes each day and drinking my water... at least 100 oz. And that has been my biggest struggle so far. I am too busy to drink water and pee all day! When I'm not at school, I am at the ballpark, and the bathroom there is DISGUSTING. UGH.

My ankle and foot are swollen again, and I really think it's because I haven't been drinking water. AND I've been drinking soda. I know better, so I must do better.

The whole reason for me to do this 90-day challenge int he first place has to do with health... I NEED to get my weight under control for my health. 36 is awfully close to 40! I need to get this weight off before it's mandated by a doctor as a result of a health scare associated with diabetes, high blood pressure or both! It's serious. Very.

But for some reason that same scared little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering doubt into my brain. It makes me wonder if I can REALLY lose weight. It makes me believe that I don't have it in me. That I'm fat and that's just the way it is.

But then I look at people around me. I read blogs and get inspired by people just like me who have lost weight and kept it off! Then I ask myself, "Why not me?"... Why can't I be a success story? Why can't I inspire people? Why can't I lose this weight and keep it off FOREVER?

I can do this. And I can show you better than I can tell you.

I know this summer is going to be transforming. I believe that so many things are falling into place in my little corner of the universe, just so I can realize this ONE DREAM that always seems to slip through my fingertips.

Why not me?