Monday, April 2, 2012

2 steps forward, 1 step back...


*sigh*

I'm back. And I'm alive!

But I've gained a few pounds back. I haven't exactly been "on plan". Once again, I've let LIFE and CHALLENGES throw me in a tailspin. But I have got a grip, and I am trying my best to refocus. I have about a month left of my Slim Fast 3.2.1 commitment, and I am going to have SOMETHING to show for it. I also have my birthday goals to achieve. No quitting here.

If you've read my blog for a while, you know about my bad divorce, and the fact that my ex-husband has been in jail for quite a while. Well, he got out of jail a little over a week ago. Although everything has been amicable so far, it's been stressful. My kids are excited and want to see and spend time with him, but I have to be careful. Very careful.

And my mother's Alzheimer's has taken a turn for the worse. She was hospitalized for several days, and is now in a nursing home in Missouri where my sister lives. Honestly, this is what started the downward spiral. I think I cried for several days, and was pretty depressed. I am still very sad, but dealing. My mom and I also had a strained relationship, but she is still my mother. And she is slowly losing her mind. I plan on going up there with the kids this weekend, and I pray that she will still remember us.

I went back to work last week, and let's just say that by Friday, I was very happy for the weekend. The first week back from a 2-week break is hard for teachers and students.

Hmmm... what else....

Oh, sports have started again. Little one is playing soccer, oldest is playing baseball. And the oldest has been doing wrestling off-season conditioning after school. Which means that I couldn't go straight to the gym after school last week.

I had two Thirty-One parties to close last week, so on top of everything else, I didn't get home until close to 11 p.m. for two days last week.

AND my leg has been bothering me again. The DVT I had about 18 months ago caused vein damage in my right leg, and sometimes the swelling gets really bad. Thankfully my Love massaged it really well last night and the swelling was minimal today. Maybe it's the weather? Who knows.

Yes, these are all excuses, I know. But I've just had a rough time staying focused on my diet when all of this other stuff has just hit me all at once. 'Tis life, I guess. And a major part of my struggle. Trying to find a balance between craziness and healthy eating. If I can find that balance, I will succeed.

Today, I was prepared and was able to do 41 minutes of cardio at the gym. I brought a bag of salad greens, grilled chicken, and salad fixings to work today, so I have lunch for the week. This week looks promising, so I am really going to try to get back to where I need to be. Where I was two weeks ago. Where I need to always be!