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Saturday, January 1, 2011

One Resolution

I'm not making a resolution to lose weight this year. I make that resolution every year. Not this year, though.

This year I have one resolution...

1. Put ME first.

Sounds a little selfish, huh? Hell, yeah, it is.

I will NEVER lose weight, find happiness, or succeed in anything I wish for in my life until I learn to put my needs first. Even above those of my family.

This concept is so hard for me to get in my head.

This year, I need to put ME first. If I am not well (mentally and physically) then what good can I do for my family? How can I be a good mother to my children?

Once, when I was in the hospital last month, my children told me that they felt "abandoned". They were so panicked about me being sick and in the hospital because they realized that if something happened to me, they had no one to take care of them. No one. I am all they have.

That knowledge hit me like a ton of bricks. I HAVE to be there for my children. I have to get well, or they will have no one. My ex-husband is in jail, looking at prison time. My family is so dysfunctional, it's not like they can go live with a relative... there are none! Yes, I have friends and people who love me that help me, but it's not like they would be able to take on FOUR children if I died or was sick long-term.



I have to get it together. I have to make myself and my health a priority this year. No excuses.

My children mean the world to me. They ARE my world. I would do anything for them, and my priority in life is to be a good mother.

My health scares over the past month have opened my eyes. I know what needs to be done.

And I am so scared. I feel overwhelmed. It's do or die.

I HAVE to lose this weight. No more playing around with my health. I have to put ME first so I can be a good mother and show my children that by fighting for me, I am fighting for them, too.

2011 will bring some major changes. I am ready.

Happy NEW Year!

39 comments:

  1. Oh, man! I JUST said this to my husband this morning!!! I said that I have to start putting me first so I can get healthy for my kids because I want to be there for them as long as possible.

    Putting yourself first is not selfish at all! In being healthier, we can give even more of ourselves. It'll be great!

    I really look forward to seeing you accomplish your resolution and to get even healthier this year. It'll be wonderful to see and I know it will give your kids much happiness, too.

    *hugs!*

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  2. Best of luck. You should concentrate on you! Your family does rely on you, but they should know that you have needs too.

    I'm new to your blog, but I"m loving what I've read. Can't wait to read more posts.

    fashiontherapist.blogspot.com

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  3. I know how hard it is to put yourself first but I finally started to do that at the end of this year and it really is a great feeling to love myself enough to put myself first. I have 2 children. I have a husband. I will always be there to take care of them but I've learned that my needs are important too. Sometimes they have to wait for me now. Sometimes they are on their own for meals. Sometimes I need to have time alone to relax. I'm losing weight now and I really believe its partly because of how I treat myself. Definitely put yourself first and try your hardest not to feel guilty. You deserve it.

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  4. I hear you, I am saying the same thing, and I am right there with you! Good luck!

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  5. You are definitely NOT being selfish by wanting to put yourself first. You are being a good parent. By putting yourself first and taking care of your health you are being a good role model for your children.

    God Bless.

    projectannie.blogspot.com

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  6. I am glad you set goals for your self. I sat down today and realized that I will be 30 years old in 280 days. I also realized that I weighed 258LBS. My goal is to lose 58LBS by the day I turn 30.. http://ashandlewplus2.com/2011/01/01/280-days-to-a-new-me-lew-that-is/
    check it out and let me know what you think
    Lew

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  7. Hollie, that's a perfect resolution! You can do it!

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  8. Putting yourself, your health and in reurn being there for you children is the greatest gift you can give them.
    good luck, you will do this

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  9. I stumbled across your blog and I can totally relate! I'm not making a "resolution" to lose weight, but I'm going to "CHANGE" myself. Put myself first, get healthy, lose weight.....IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. I could use a little inspiration from others that have the same goal as me.
    ~Jen
    http://lifehappens-jennifer.blogspot.com

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  10. I completely understand where you are coming from. It's tough to learn to put yourself first, I too have the same problem. My whole life I have put everyone else first--looking out for my family and friends. But, I'm looking to start a family soon and to do that I need to get in shape. Looks like we have something in common. I hope all goes well for you. If you ever need some extra motivation, pop over to http://lose186pounds.blogspot.com/ and leave me a message. Sometimes it just takes a kick in the butt to get us to wake up and pay attention to our realities.

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  11. This is my new years resolution too! Good luck!
    X

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  12. Great blog! Good luck to you in 2011!

    -LeAnna
    http://losingthechunk.blogspot.com/

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  13. You Can Do It. I know because I am there as well.
    Lifestyle changes are the worst to conquer, but with knowledge and encouragement we can succeed in this effort.
    this is where i've started from
    http://bit.ly/ho4vjC

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  14. Knowing what to do is the easy part, actually following thru is the hard part. I feel your pain because I'm there too. I am all for your success, and mine.
    http://bit.ly/ho4vjC

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  15. I'm with you! Put yourself first and blog it up!

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  16. Good luck! We need to put ourselves first so we can be their for our families!

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  17. Keep it up! I'm trying to do the same, lose weight and shape my body. But you can do it!! It looks like you have great support here too.

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  18. Thinking of my children without me was how and why I quit smoking 7 years ago. I can't believe it's 7 years!! Now I am back on weight loss. I lost 28 lbs. last year on Medifast. I gained 12 back. Now I am going back on and hoping to get rid of all my excess. Not even for how I will look - but I don't want diabetes, breast cancer, etc....I need to be here for my kids who are 10 and 11. In a world where so many things are beyond my control, this is one thing I have absolute control over. The decision is our to do it. Good luck to you!!!!!

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  19. You can do it!!

    You have to put yourself first in order to be there for your family :)

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  20. What a wonderful resolution! It is not selfish at all. People might try to bring you down, because after all...misery LOVES company, but don't let them! Keep going strong...we believe in you!

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  21. I just found your blog and I so relate. My children are grown and on their own; dh and I are empty nesters now, but I'm still finding that I can't put myself first. I think women are givers and nurturers; it's hard to believe we deserve some pampering ourselves. I, too want to make this MY year. Keep your eye on the prize!

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  22. Hi Hollie,
    Putting yourself first is not selfish at all when your drive and purpose is to be there for others. I always say that we can not give what we don't have. To be a blessing we need to be blessed, to share or offer something we must have it first. I am proud of you because I am already confident that love will see you through and drive you to reach your goals.
    I will cheer you on the whole way and hope we can all motivate one another as sisters and mothers. Your kids are beautiful and so are you and you all deserve the very best and you have the power to do it.

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  23. This is a fantastic resolution!! You have a BEAUTIFUL family and they deserve the best, happiest you :)

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  24. I know just how you feel. It's do or die time - and I have to put myself first too. I'll be reading along with you to see how things go for you in 2011. God bless.

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  25. You can do it girl!!! Putting yourself is NOT selfish, and it needs to be done to be successful in a weight loss journey! Trust me...I know! Good luck to you!

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  26. I know putting us first is a hard thing to do, but we must. Everyone will be better off, they just don't know it yet. LOL
    Good for you for not making the same ole resolutions and standing up for what's right, taking care of YOU!

    Happy New Year Hollie!

    Roxie
    www.i-love-carbs.blogspot.com

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  27. Put yourself first and everyone around you is happy because you have more energy to give of yourself. You can do it!! :-) Best wishes for a bright new year.

    :-)

    Jill Knapp
    http://getupandgetmoving.net

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  28. it is not selfish to put you first. I did that 2 years ago and I have lost 80ish lbs! You go girl! It is about you.

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  29. Putting yourself first is not selfish at all! After all, if you don't do it, who will? Good luck girl! I stumbled across your blog and love reading it! I'm now following. Thank you for sharing your story!

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  30. That is a good goal. I hate resolutions - or at least what they stand for since they almost set you up for failure - but I like your enthusiasm and have no doubt you'll make it count this year. I also love that picture! :)

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  31. I just found your blog and I totally agree. You and your health must come first. If you don't prioritize eating right and moving a little each day, you won't even get a shot at the rest. I had to learn this along my journey, but once I did, it was much smoother sailing!

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  32. I like your resolution. It sounds like one that is a lot more meaningful then "lose weight". Perhaps I should try something like that instead.

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  33. Happy New Year and Good Luck! :)
    i will be thankful if you check my tips to lose weight and leave comment
    http://weight-drop.blogspot.com

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  34. Had to read the line about you being all your kids have over and over. Talk about the ULTIMATE motivation to get this thing right.

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  35. I have faith in you. You have shown so much motivation and willingness to keep trying in just the few short months I have been visiting your blog. I know that you will succeed.

    Best of everything to you and your lovely children in the new year. They are lucky to have a mom like you.

    Your friend,
    Don

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  36. Wow, what an amazing post. I just found your blog! I look forward to reading about your journey.

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  37. There is a book that I haven't read yet, but want to read based on the title alone, "Life doesn't Start Five Pounds from Now." So true, and similar to what you said. Put you first!

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  38. You have a beautiful family :o) Yeah I did the resolution thing for losing weight every year myself. This year I have better resolutions. One being just to eat healthier and lose weight but not anything specific, just get healthy ya know? Anyway, you have a new fan! Yay for putting YOU first!

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  39. This post really touched my heart. You've been through so much lately... the health thing,blood clots, divorce...

    To me, even though you use the terminology "selfish" to describe it, it seems like you are doing a LOVING, giving and self-less thing by putting your health first. I wish there was a more accurate word for it!

    My best to you and your children.
    Loretta
    =^..^=

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