Monday, May 24, 2010

Time out!

Wow... Tuesday was my last update? Time flies, right?

Last week was overwhelming. With the news of the new job came a plethora of things to do. For those who haven't been following for a while, I have been in school trying to get my teacher's license. I am also working on my Master's in Education. I just completed all the classes I needed for the licensing requirement, I decided to try to get what they call a Transitional license that would allow me to waive my student teaching requirement. I am a single mom of three... I can't take off work for several months to student teach. The odds were good that I could get hired in a larger, Metropolitan school district. But I really wanted to stay in the small district where I live and where my kids already go to school. So when I got this job, I was ecstatic! I was exactly WHERE I wanted to be, doing exactly what I wanted to do. I will be teaching 2nd grade special education.

It is also awesome that I know the teacher who I am replacing. She was my son's teacher for 1st and 2nd grade! She is one of the people who encouraged me to go back to school for my degree in Special Education... ironic, right? She is moving to a different school in our district, and has offered to help me in any way she can. I got to see my new classroom on Wednesday. The teachers I will be working with all seem very supportive and I think they will be great to work with.

So that, on top of that, I am also preparing to teach summer school in June. I had already been hired to teach summer school before I got the permanent job for next school year. There is so much lesson planning involved, though, and it's crunch time. Thursday is our last day of school, but teachers still have to report on Friday and Saturday morning. I hope to have my summer school work DONE by this afternoon. I am meeting with my co-teacher after school today to finalize everything.

SO... can you see how crazy my life is? It's just overwhelming right now. So what do I do?

I eat... and eat... and eat...

I was totally miserable with heartburn on Wednesday and Thursday because I had been binging so bad.

On Thursday I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to get away.

I called up my best friends and by Saturday afternoon, one BFF had my kids and I was on the way to Atlanta with the other one. We had about 24 hours to talk, relax, drink wine, and do some window shopping! And do you know what? It's just what I needed.

Today, I feel relaxed and in control again.

I CAN do this.

EVERYTHING will be okay.

I am in CONTROL.

Even though I went out of town Saturday and Sunday, my eating is back under control. Yes, I indulged in wine on Saturday night, but only a few glasses.

Sadly, even on a weekend away for relaxation, the main thing on my mind was my weight and where I am on my weight loss journey. Even though I keep falling on my face, I refuse to give up. One day... ONE DAY something will "click" and I will achieve the consistency I need so desperately. I will be able to squash my bad habits one at a time until eating clean and healthy is second nature. Exercise will be a part of my life, too... not something that I dread and have to plan for. It will happen. Because no matter what, I WANT it. I NEED it.

In June 2008 when I decided to go back to school for my Master's in Education, actually getting my license and my own classroom seemed like a far-off dream. I knew I COULD do it, but there was so many obstacles in my way. One by one, I have jumped over each hurdle, and I made it! I made my goal! Now I know I can do anything I set my mind to... so I know I will be successful at losing weight and getting healthy. It will happen!