Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 1 - update...

I almost NEVER post twice in one day, but I really felt compelled to check back in and report that I did NOT binge today! I felt strong, and made pretty good choices.

I had to stop by the store this afternoon - when you are eating healthy, fresh food you have to stop by the store more often I've found - and I admit that I felt a little urge to buy some pie. I also felt myself wondering if there was still any Easter candy left. But I firmly told myself NO each time. I also think I need to add CAKE to the list of forbidden foods...

I talked to my ex today about how I am feeling, and about the binging. I feel like he understands what I am going through because he also battles addiction. He agrees that if there is food that is causing me to lose control, then I need to avoid that food until I get stronger. There have been times that I know of that he has had to avoid certain areas of town while he is in recovery - just driving down a certain street can make him have the urge to use. It may be silly, but when your sobriety is on the line - you will just find another route to get to where you are going. Right now - I am going down another route!

No exercise today - it's been raining and hail had been pouring down sporadically - and it's suddenly COLD again! WTF??? I think the dreary weather, along with TOM starting is contributing to my depresed mood. I really need to break out my supplements and start taking them again - but that is another GOAL to keep up with, and I don't want to add too much to the GOAL list until I make some of my current GOALS stick.

I tracked ALL OF MY FOOD today:) And I also got in 56 oz of water today - WAY up from what I have been drinking.

I was running late this morning, and didn't get to make my smoothie for breakfast. By 9 a.m. I was STARVING and ended up eating part of my lunch. I ended up going to the cafeteria at around 12:30 and getting some potato wedges because I knew I wasn't going to make it until dinner. Gretta, and maybe someone else suggested more food/protein during the day and I agree that I need to work on that.

Today's food:
Blueberry cereal bar
coffee w/ sugar free creamer
almond butter & sugar free jam sandwhich on whole wheat bread
1 oz. cheddar cheese
1 c. grapes
potato wedges w/ ketchup
chocolate milk
1/2 c. granola
1 pkg crackers w/ pb & honey
3 sl. french toast (made w/egg beaters, almond milk, and wheat bread)
5 sl. turkey bacon 
1/2 c. light maple syrup
1/2 c. strawberries
small slice of angel food cake
fat free whipped cream (from can)
2 - 12 oz coke zero's

Not a perfect day of eating - but much better than yesterday! I have to start planning better -  I forgot I had orientation after work today, so I grabbed granola and the crackers to tide me until dinner. I am having a hard time waking up on time in the mornings again - even though I am getting 7 - 8 hours of sleep! 

Again - thank you all for the encouragement you have given me over the past couple of days. I am so afraid to post things sometimes because I don't want to disappoint my friends on here. But I am glad that I was honest - to you and for me. To truly move forward and beat this - I have to be honest.