Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I woke UP stressed out this morning. Tomorrow is the day I leave for my mini-vacation to Chattanooga. AND I take my Praxis exams on Saturday morning. AND I have to get all this weekend's homework done before I go. NOW my children's dad has backed out of meeting us in Chattanooga. The plan was that he would drive up to meet us so he could see the kids... he hasn't seen them since he moved out of state in December. Well, now he isn't going to be able to come, and I know my kids are going to be devastated. You would think since he doesn't pay a DIME in child support.... ugh... that's beside the point.

I talked to his sister and mom this morning, and they have offered to pay for my rental car/gas/expenses if I will bring the children to Florida next week to see them. I am out on Spring break anyway, and didn't have any plans other than just being lazy and relaxing. They want to take us to the beach, and do some other fun things. And that would also allow my babies to see their dad. I don't really know what I want to do. One part of me sees it as a free vacation to Florida. My kids would LOVE to go. And I really don't mind driving down with them. I know my in-laws will make sure my ex behaves himself, and will make sure we have a good time. My in-laws have always been good to me and the kids... they know my ex is an irresponsible asshole.

I guess it's just that I like to plan things out, and it's NOT part of my plan. Yeah, I could make it work. Yeah, I could have fun! I don't know, though. I am going to pray on it and think on it while I am in Chattanooga. Bottom line is that I know my kids LONG to spend time with their dad. I know making the trip will make them happy. Even if it causes me a little stress along the way, I think with the shitty year they have had, it's the least I can do.

I did think this morning, "How am I going to do Medifast with all this traveling?" I am not really worried about it because it IS so portable. As long as I have my mini-blender and my bars, I think I will be okay. I will be staying with my sister-in-law in Florida (who is a vegetarian), so I know I can still be able to prepare my foods there. The plan gets easier with each day, and I am really not hungry. And the cravings are also going away. I am 94% sure I can do it while I'm away...

I don't know what will happen, but I know I have to get up and get crackin' today! I have been on the phone dealing with stress and drama all morning, and I have so much to do! My daughter comes back this afternoon, and I NEED to get everything cleaned before she gets here. And get my car serviced. And go to the grocery for stuff to take on the road. And get packed and get in the bed at a decent hour so I can be ready to go. Oh, and let me not forget that assignment I need to turn in. DAMN! Too much to do! Later!