Friday, December 11, 2009

Struggling!

This detox crap is HARD! SO much harder than it was the first time around. In a nutshell, I started, failed miserably the second day, re-started yesterday, and have did well today. Wednesday was hell... it seemed like I had donuts, cookies, and other assorted candy and cakes pushed in my face all day! I ended the night with a full-out binge (which I am not proud of at all). I felt like such a FAILURE. Why can't I "kick the habit"? Why does this have to SUCK?

It all goes back to the fact that I am ADDICTED to sugar and caffeine. They both do crazy things to my body, and I can't have either in my diet. I know detox sucks, but I have to do it. All I can do is one day at a time. I hope that this weekend is better. As you can see, it is a Friday night and I am home blogging instead of hanging out with friends at a bar. I decided that the temptation of alcohol and fried appetizers is NOT what I need right now. I need to stay focused, because honestly, my body feels like SHIT right now.

I am so bloated, and my clothes are starting to fit tight. TOM arrived today, so I am kinda glad that I can blame some of it on that. I am also hoping that by the time the week is over, I will be in SUCCESSFUL detox mode and will lose the TOM bloat and a little more weight at the same time. That will give me the boost I seriously need right now. I used to feel so confident when I looked at pictures, now I am feeling a little panicky because my face already looks fuller.... It's DO OR DIE TIME.