Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Moving forward...

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking. ~Buddhist Saying

I guess I need to keep on walking, because I have actually been doing great this week! This weekend was relaxing, but also very emotional. As most of you know, I have TERRIBLE luck with men and have just came out of a bad relationship. Well, I felt myself {{{FALLING}}} again and had to put the brakes on. I am not physically, mentally, or emotionally ready for a relationship at this time in my life. SO, thank goodness for my Brooke. She gave me friendship and refuge this weekend so I could officially GET OVER IT!

But self-reflection is good sometimes, and I had to remind myself that I need to stay focused on ME and love myself above all others. Selfish? Not at all. I can't be any use to anyone, not even my kids, if I don't love myself first. Maybe this was a switch that needed to be flipped on, but staying on plan has been easy for the past two days. No cravings, no urge for emotional eating.

I cleaned out my pantry and refrigerator last week, and made a trip to the grocery and stocked it with good stuff last night! I have plenty of fruits and veggies and good, clean food to eat now. The junk is officially gone! So, if there isn't bad stuff to eat, there is no temptation. I'm focused on getting this GAIN off me. Yes, I said GAIN! Last week I stepped on the scale for the first time in a while, and was devastated to find that I'd GAINED almost 12 lbs! What????

I don't know why it was a big surprise. I guess because my clothes still fit. I noticed a pair of my jeans being a little tight in the waist, but everything else was fine. But what did I expect with the bad eating habits that had crept back in, along with the weekend drinking and free-for-alls I'd been having. I am thankful the damage wasn't worse! SO, now I know where I'm at and what I need to do. And, I'm actually DOING it. I am not waiting until after Thanksgiving or the holiday season. I want to show myself that I can do this NO MATTER WHAT.