Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Feeling "normal"

The past few days have been pretty good as far as eating is concerned... almost back to "normal"... whatever the hell that is. We went to church Sunday for the first time since Easter - and that went well. Some of you know I have issues and reservations about church, but I really think I was meant to be there. You know how it is when you think the preacher is talking about you? Yeah, it was one of those sermons...

Both yesterday and today have been smooth eating days for me. Yesterday I had an unscheduled bowl of cereal before bed and a few Starburst at work, but today has been pretty damned perfect eating-wise. I even made it to the gym YESTERDAY and TODAY, which is huge. Both days I did 45 min on the elliptical and 15 minutes weights. Let me tell you, I can really feel those weights. My arms and legs are so sore... Tomorrow is the true exercise test... I have school Wed and Thurs evenings, so I won't have gym time. My goal is to do a DVD both days before bed. I've even been toying with the idea of {{{waking up early}}}...

My daughter is hating me so bad right now on all fronts. First, I put her on a diet. She complained of being hungry yesterday, so I added flaxseed oil and protein this morning and she said she felt much better. She also turned down a Little Debbie Nutty Bar that my mother tried to give her in exchange for a little pack of peanut butter crackers for an after school snack today. See, I'm still struggling with preparedness and time issues, so I forgot we had parent-teacher conferences right after school and didn't have a snack ready for her. She was so proud to announce that she turned down the Nutty bar in favor of the crackers, and I really praised her for making the better choice. I know both snacks aren't ideal, but the fact she TRIED to make a good choice is what I'm aiming for. She's mad at me now because I am putting her in tutoring - she can get over THAT one, too.

Sunday for church, I dug out an old dress that I haven't wore in over two years. I wore it to my college graduaton in May 2007 and havent touched it since because it was too tight. I remember wearing two girdles with this dress, and the circulation being cut off to my thighs during the two hour comencement ceremony. Then the long distance to and front of the car with thighs rubbing was murder. I was miserable. Here are some pics from that day...

So, I pulled this same dress out on Sunday and it was hanging off me... with no girdle. Sometimes I get down because I've only lost about 60 lbs, and have been stuck here for a while. But at least I'm not there anymore - more than 330 lbs and miserable in my skin and my clothes. Here is a picture from Sunday. This is definitely not perfection, but I'm getting there.