Monday, October 19, 2009

Bad habits...

I need my ass kicked for letting almost a month go by with no blogging! WTH! I mean, I THINK about it all the time... just don't make the time. But lately, I really haven't been MAKING the time to do anything toward losing weight. Thank goodness I've pretty much maintained. I don't know a number because I'm scared of the scale right now. I've pretty much been on a binge-fest for days. Add that with TOM and ... well, no scale.

I have let bad habits take over. Not so much food-related bad habits, but other vices that are not good for me. Alcohol being one of them. And smoking. And partying... a lot. Honestly, I have just lost my mind. Maybe its a defense mechanism....? Things got so bad I just decided to go somewhere else... a happy place, if you will. I surrounded myself with friends who were more than willing to party with me (and pay for it). My kids were happy and taken care of - so why say no? Not when saying YES is so much fun! Right?

Well... I'm not ready to totally admit the err of my ways. But I will admit that too much of anything is just that - to damned much! My body basically feels like shit. The alcohol+cigarettes+no sleep+no water+bad food=not a good combo for weight loss. The only reason I don't think I've gained a ton is that I have constantly been on the move for about 4 weeks. We just got off of a two week fall break that was busy, busy, busy. So I didn't have a chance to sit around and eat a lot - and after drinking all night I really don't feel like eating until after at least noon. (can you tell I'm being honest here?)

I guess I need a dose of honesty right now - for myself. Once I started being honest with myself, I knew it was time to slow my ass down. So, over the past few days I've been trying to move in the right direction. I've stopped smoking (don't know why I started - I only smoke when I drink). I cut my alcohol consumption to only 2 days last week. And today, on my first day back at work, I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch. AND drank water. Something happened last week that made it all so clear to me. I know what I need to do.

I'll save that epiphany for another post!