Monday, August 17, 2009

Weigh-in... good news!

Today I weighed in at 272 lbs.... which is down from last week, is my lowest weight in a LOOONNNGGG time, and now puts me at a total of 61 lbs. lost! The scale is FINALLY moving in the right direction! It's been a really rough weekend, so this was good news today. It really strengthens the goal that I made yesterday to really recommit to my weight loss this week.

First things first, I got my new size 20W jeans on Friday! Along with a size 14W top! I have a Lane Bryant outlet in my town, and had a coupon, and I really lucked out. I got the jeans and the top for $50 - which was my budget for the jeans. It happened that they had a great sale, so not only did I get a pair of jeans, but I got a pair of Secret Slimmer jeans, which are more expensive but so awesome! If you haven't tried a pair, I really suggest you do. For my night out on Friday, I wore my new jeans with a size XXL shirt from the "regular" clothes at Target. I felt really cute!

I paired the top I bought with a pair of black capri's that I'd bought a little while back as "goal pants". They are also a size 20. When I bought the top, I thought it was a size 14/16. I thought it looked like it would fit me, and when I tried it on it did. But when I actually wore it out on Saturday night, I noticed that it was a 14W. Wow... Yeah, it might run big, but it felt really good to be wearing that size!

Friday night was fun, but not really what I was expecting. There seemed to be a lot of tension going on with the people I was out with - not between us, but between them and other people. Saturday morning I had orientation for Fall term at school, and then Saturday night things went really bad really fast. My ex decided to show his ass when I dropped my kids off to him. Long story short, he refused to give me my child support, and was drunk. When I demanded he let my kids go with me, he just went ape-shit and started talking shit to me. I thought I was going to have to call the police, but he finally gave my my kids and my money. He admitted yesterday that he has been using drugs again. UGH! It makes me so damned mad.

I am so thankful for my friends. I had made plans to go out on Saturday night, but since I had my kids I thought I would cancel. But Jess happened to be at my house (and had to come to my rescue) when all this happened. Her ex volunteered to watch my kids so I could go out anyway, which was so nice. But I really wanted to make sure my kids were okay, and was TOTALLY not messed up with staying in. But since Jess and her ex were afraid that Clyde might try to come by my house and cause problems, they insisted that I stay with one of them Sat. night. I ended up going to Jess's place, and it was like my kids went to a slumber party instead. They were totally over the "incident" and were almost relieved I didn't let them stay with their dad. They're young, but they remember what he's like when he drinks.

I ended up "sneaking" out for a little while after the kids went to bed. Jess had to be at work early on Sunday and was happy to babysit. I met another girlfriend of mine and we went to a little bar across the highway from Jess's apt. and had a 'rita. I think I deserved that 'rita! But yesterday morning I was really doing some thinking about "everything". One of the things I decided is that I am going to stop drinking again for a while. I am also going to start giving weight loss 100% effort. I feel so damned good in my smaller clothes, and am starting to love they way I look in the mirror. I am ready to tackle the next 20 lbs. I am still coughing like crazy, so they gym is not an option today. But I know I can eat right until I can add the exercise again.

So when I saw the number and realized I had reached another milestone (60 lbs gone), I knew that it was an affirmation.