Friday, August 21, 2009

Getting over it!

My day absolutely TANKED yesterday. The rain and gray skies brought in a bad mood, which only got worse until I went to bed. I woke up with the same sh*tty mood. Ugh! So, as I'm reading through the blogs on my blogroll, I came across this on Fat Daddy's blog:

"I like Hollie and her blog. I have had a link to her for a while now, and if you read her you will come to understand she is a warrior. She has been through a lot..."

Let me just say, this made my day. I don't feel like a warrior. Lately I've been feeling like a failure. It is so hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. But you know what? I am a damned warrior! I am fighting right now - not just the Battle of the Bulge, but the Battle to Provide for my Children, and the "Battle to Make Ends Meet", and most importantly, the Battle to STAY SANE! I will not lay down, and I will keep fighting until I conquer all the evil forces that try to keep me down! I will WIN because I will NOT GIVE UP!

I started this blog nearly one year ago. Never in a million years did I ever dream I would have 122 followers a year later. I just wanted somewhere to put my thoughts about this journey, because at the time I had no one to lean on. I knew it was the time in my life where I NEEDED to make a change. I have received so much inspiration and encouragement from the blogs I read and from the comments that are left on this and other blogs. It really does keep me going, and it keeps me focused on the road ahead of me.

For the first time in a LONG time, I believe I CAN AND WILL DO THIS! I know I am not one of those people that can stick with a plan 100% all the time, but I can make positive changes that will add up over the long run and end up being a lifestyle for me. I am not the same person who used to binge on donuts in Walmart. I am not the same chick that used to hoard Cadburry eggs so I could eat 3 or 4 of them at night before I went to bed. I am not the same person who buys sugary snacks for my children to eat. I am changing, and my family will change, too. It might not happen this year, it might not happen next year, but I will reach my goal weight. I have already claimed it!

I got another good quote in my inbox this morning. It's my time to fly!

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only one of two things will happen. Either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!"