Monday, May 4, 2009

Day 22 - Habits and Headaches

Can you believe that today starts the 22nd day on plan! It seems like the time has flown by, but it's been pretty good so far. I've heard a trillion times that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So maybe I've actually stuck with this long enough that living without sugar, caffeine, and processed foods is now a good habit that I possess. It's still a struggle, though. Especially with the sugar. But I am making the choice each day to "just say no". It is easier, I have to admit. I don't feel like crying when I pass candy and donuts in Wal-mart anymore. I don't "think" about it all the time. Even when offered something sweet, I am able to say no without having to think about it.

I am also learning how to cope with my stress and emotions in ways that do not involve binging. Let me tell you, this weekend was hard. After the fiasco that was my Friday, things didn't get much better. Clyde is driving me insane with his constant whining and selfishness. It totally burns me that he is so selfish and inconsiderate of his children, but wants to turn everything around so it's somehow my fault. And then last night he flipped the script again and started begging for me to give him a second chance. NOT! I did not sleep well at all, then woke up to discover that one of my kids had left the freezer door open all night. Talked about pissed off first thing in the morning. I was able to salvage most of the food and put it in my deep freezer, but it was still a huge mess, and I'm not even sure it's still working.

But through all this, I haven't wanted to binge at all. Food has not been my comfort. I have played a lot of Mafia Wars. I have also crocheted a lot. I even spent a few hours making a play list of all my favorite songs from the 80's and 90's (which I'm so psyched about). I did not eat any bad food this weekend. The only thing I slacked on was my eating schedule. I find that sometimes I forget to eat on the weekends, and I forget to eat my snacks. I also only got 72 oz. of water yesterday, which is way low for me. But no binging, no uncontrollable urges. Just "other stuff to do".

I got a really bad headache at work this morning, and ALMOST convinced myself to buy a soda. But I quickly told myself NO and started thinking about what a failure I would feel like if I had to start over. It wasn't worth it, so I had to just find someone with some pain reliever. I feel better now, thank goodness! I don't think the headache had anything to do with food - I think it had more to do with stress. We have a student that has been really driving me insane. He starts screaming and singing for attention. That would give anyone a headache, right?