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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Day 2 - Warning: Weight Watcher Rant...

Today started out well. I have been able to stick to the 3-hour eating plan, and still no headaches from sugar or caffeine withdrawal. I am SO thankful for that. TCAP tests were a little more smooth today, so not so stressful at work. I did get offered a position during the summer, so I'm excited about that. The job is for an assistant, but when my boss emailed me today she said it would be a great opportunity to "student teach". She promised details in the next week or so. That takes a big burden off me, because I had been wondering how this summer was going to go with trying to find a job for the two months we were out.

After school today, I went to my WW meeting and I did WI. I lost .2 lbs, but wasn't really concerned about it. I know I am headed in the right direction with this new way of eating, and I also just came off of terrible weekend eating. What I did care about is the fact that our leader made a big deal over another member reaching their 1st 25 lb. milestone, then made a big deal on presenting her with her award. WTF! I was soooo pissed off, because that bitch didn't even RECOGNIZE me when I made my 25 lb. milestone, and told me I had to wait until 10% to get my charm. I had to raise my hand and ASK for my 5 lb. star, then she just tossed it at me. That's okay. I'm only 3.2 lbs away from 10%, and I know that it's only a couple of weeks away if I keep doing what I'm doing. Then she will HAVE TO give me what is due. But until then, fuck her. (Sorry, but this is my blog and I think an f-bomb appropriately describes how I feel about this situation).

(sighing after rant)....

After WW, I realized that BOTH my oldest children had soccer practice, one after the other. So I had to race home to get their gear. THEN I realized that my 6 p.m. dinner time would come and go while I was at the soccer field, and I had no idea what to do. So I grabbed a few things (protein bar, Greek yogurt, almonds, and Kashi Go-Lean cereal), and texted Yvette to see what she thought would be a good "dinner" combo. I am so glad she is so willing to help me do this. So we decided on the protein bar plus the almonds, and with water I was really full!

It's funny how my fat-girl mind still looks at small amounts of food as "not enough". I don't know why I still do this! I guess my portions have been distorted for so long, it will take a while to re-train my brain (and my stomach) to know when I am really satisfied. That is really why I want to change the way I eat - because I have read so much research on how sugar plays such havoc on your body chemistry. I want my body to be in balance, if that is ever possible. I want health, no just weight loss.

I just finished DietGirl's book today, and I really liked it. The same reason why she left WW is the same reason I will not renew my membership. I really notice how the focus is more on weight loss than healthy eating. Today in our meeting, people were actually talking about how you could fit Tollhouse cookies in your points allowance, lol! But when I told them that I had decided to eat clean and detox from sugar and caffeine, they looked at me like I was crazy. And the leader acted like my .2 lb. loss was a GAIN or something. In my opinion, a loss is a loss! I dunno... my thinking has changed on so much lately...

3 comments:

  1. Congrats on forging ahead and staying strong! Congrats on a .2lb weight loss!! Any weight loss is a good thing. No matter how little :)
    I'm doing WW, but not the sense you are. I'm doing it on my own, no meetings, no money. I don't have that support group, but i also don't have to get mad at tollhouse cookie lady and be pissed at her for losing weight and not me when i'm not eating crapola into my points every day!!! :) LOL!!!
    Yeah... I can see getting mad, just like you did today! So screw 'em! Take what you can get from it and use it. The rest... can well... you know how it goes!
    Again! Congrats on a good day 2 & the weight loss :)

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  2. Sorry the leader isn't being a good one. I think that's terrible she celebrated someone else's 25 lbs and not yours. It sounds like that's not the meeting for you. That's great you had a lose this week. I definitely count any lose as a great thing. Glad you're going to have a summer job too. Hope the rest of your week goes well.

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  3. I think I need to go back to WW it holds me accountable. Congrats on the loss

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