Today was a little different. I almost had a mini-freak-out after dinner, but after I thought about it for a while, I really think I can still claim success. My main goals for this plan are to 1. eat clean 2. no caffeine 3. no added sugar 4. drink 100+ oz. water daily. I still met all my goals for today, and my calorie count is in check. So this is what happened...
It all started out with a stressful day at work. Most of you know I work with children in the behavior program in our school district. Some days are more challenging than others. Today, we had a student that was "challenging" all afternoon. As soon as he walked out the door, I got an email that my daughter had got in trouble at school today. She was caught texting another girl in the class - cell phones are not allowed at school. But the thing that made me mad is - my daughter does not have a cell phone! So as soon as I replied to the teacher's email, my daughter walked into my classroom.
When I asked her what phone she used, she handed it to me. It is my old cell phone - one that was a prepaid phone I used to use. It still had a little money on it, so I always keep it in case of emergency. I even let her use it sometimes when she is going over to a friends house, so I can keep in touch with her. But by no means is this her phone! And she knows it! I was LIVID, to say the least. We walked to the truck, then I made the rounds to pick up the other two kids.
Monday, my friend gave me a great CD - it's neo-soul and very relaxing. So I warned my kids to sit still and be quiet for the ride home, and just listened to the music. By the time I got home, I felt really relaxed and clear-headed. I wasn't furious anymore, didn't feel stressed at all. It was then that I realized that I had just done something different. In the past, a stressful situation like the one I described would have led to candy bars, caramel lattes, and maybe even pizza. But this time, I didn't even think of food!
I came in, and got on the phone with a friend. Before I knew it, it was time for dinner, but I had not planned anything (mistake). Looking through the fridge, I spotted the almond butter, then the TJ's strawberry preserves (sugar free). I had Ezekiel bread in the freezer, so I decided I would have a AB&J sandwich. When I went in the freezer to get the bread, I found some slices of sweet potato lingering there, so I decided that sweet potato fries would be SO good with my sandwich. And that, my friends, was dinner.
As I was eating, I started to feel guilt and panic. I was SUPPOSED to be eating something green for dinner, right? This is not a BALANCED meal, right? It tastes too good to be healthy, right? So I panicked. For a minute I felt like I had failed. I knew that was not the ratio of fat/protein/good carbs that I strive for. And then I questioned if it was really my stress that made me do it? Had I succumbed to emotional eating again?
After emailing Yvette and totalling up my calorie count, I realized that eating this meal did not make me fail. All of this food was whole and healthy. Ezekiel bread is some of the healthiest you can buy... almond butter was all natural from TJ's, as was the organic, no sugar added strawberry preserves. And I only had 1 tbs of each. The sweet potatoes were not sprinkled with butter and sugar like I used to prepare them... just plain. I DID NOT eat a candy bar. I DID NOT eat a doughnut. I DID NOT have a diet soda. I still ate real food, just not what I have been eating for the past two weeks.
But like Yvette always says, this is real life. I love sweet potatoes, and any food plan I'm on will have to allow them sometimes. I just didn't feel like a salad tonight! That's okay. I got a "treat" and I have moved on. And you know what, it was good! And no where near as damaging as a candy bar would have been. If I had candy or soda tonight, I would be starting over tomorrow - trying to withdraw from vices that I am in "recovery" from. But now I think I'm okay... I've never been addicted to sweet potatoes!
The lesson learned is that I always need to have a plan for dinner, not just breakfast and lunch. Each night I have a definite plan for breakfast and lunch and snacks, because I need to pack my bag for work. I always try to have an idea of what dinner will be, in case I need to thaw out meat. But today I didn't have a plan. Thank goodness it was just a minor diversion... next time I might not be so fortunate. This little stumble might have just saved me from falling on my face another day...