Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Day 10 - Finally made 10%

Yesterday at Weight Watchers I finally made 10%! This is at least the 6th time I have tried and failed at WW over the past 5 years. This is the ONLY time I have ever made 10%. The leader was surprised at my 5 lbs weight loss for last week, so I had to point out to her that I'd made 10%. I also had to remind her she didn't give me my 25 lb. award. She asked me why I didn't get it, and I told her she wouldn't give it to me! She looked incredulous, and said, "well, that doesn't even sound like me." Yeah.

So, when she presented me with my award in front of the group, she asked me to tell everyone what I had done differently this week.... well, want a list? I started out with the fact that I had eliminated sugar and caffeine from my diet. Immediately everyone started grumbling. "There's no way I can do that...I've got to have soda" or "I've got to have sugar." I tried to point out that anything was possible, but you had to want it bad enough. By the time I got around to telling them about the clean eating, no one was interested anymore. I realized that any advice I had would only be falling on deaf ears.

But I understand. Making necessary changes for weight loss is an individual thing. I really think that for every overweight person, you have to want it bad enough before you will ever be willing to make sacrifices. And no matter what anyone tells us, it is about sacrifice! I used to say all the time that I would never do any type of diet that had restrictions. I wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted, only in moderation. But like a slap in the face one day, I realized that this was probably my damn problem! Obvious, eating anything I wanted wasn't working. I was gaining and losing the same 10 lbs. I didn't think I could EVER get under that 300 lb. mark! So when I was handed the opportunity to learn more about food and more about my body, I listened with an open mind. And now, weeks later, making that change in my way of thinking is paying off.

I still can't believe I have lost 10% of my body weight! I am dumbfounded that I have been able to go without a SODA for over a week! AND - I am able to turn down chocolate with no kicking and screaming and tears! I am UNDER 300 lbs for the first time in 3 years. I don't feel deprived, I am never hungry, and I feel better than I have in a long time. It's just amazing. But sometimes I still get scared. Sometimes that voice creeps in that tells me that I will fail, that something will happen, and I will slip, and then have to start all over. But guess what? I'm ready for that! I will keep going, because it is my time! I keep SEEING myself as a thin person; trying to dream it into reality! And let me tell you, I really believe I can do it! THIS time, I really think it will happen!