Monday, February 9, 2009

When will it ever stop...

The drama in my life is driving me insane. I don't know how much more I can take. I am so stressed out, and I've finally succumed to emotional eating. I've been eating badly, with no regard to my plan. I've been eating donuts like I should be eating salad. I know I need to do better, and I will. I'm not giving up.

I tried to finish moving this weekend. We worked all day Saturday and Sunday, and got almost everything done. I have a load of trash and another load of odds and ends that I will do today, then I will be done. Then starts the unpacking process. The new place is a mess! It's so overwhelming. I found out Friday that Clyde has been doing drugs again. The refund money I gave him Friday morning to find an apartment was gone by Friday night. Saturday and Sunday he did stick around to help me move. We got along great, and then he informed me yesterday he needed another $1000! WTF! So I gave him $500 and told him that was it. The well was dry. Last night he called to inform me he had checked into a weekly-rate motel.

This morning I was pulled out of my class for a phone call from a woman at Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville. Apparently, Clyde was attacked and robbed this morning at around 6 a.m. Someone found him laying outside of his car with no wallet and no phone. They were running tests on him and couldn't tell me the extent of his injuries, and the police were involved. The woman told me she would call me back, and when she did he had been discharged. Apparently he had another ride from the hospital. This tells me the incident was totally drug related.

At first I was so torn about whether or not I should leave work to rush to his side. I felt so selfish when I decided that he needed to deal with it himself, and that if he needed me he would call me. Well, since he still hasn't called, I guess he doesn't want me involved. I do admit that I'm afraid he will come to my house this afternoon to see if he can get more money. I'm a little afraid of what he'll do if I say no again. But I do know that if he threatens me at all I WILL call the police this time. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of him being so unpredictable. I'm tired of this drama.