Friday, February 13, 2009

Out on the Town!

I am going out tonight, and I'm so FREAKIN' excited. My best friend is a social butterfly. She goes out several times a week, even though I don't see how she does it. She's got FOUR boys under age 9, and she works full-time. So she told me that it was time for ME to start having fun like I used to. Did I ever have fun? It's been so long I don't remember. But since we've been friends for 15 years I guess she would know.

Last night I did my meal prep so I am ready for today! I plan to keep it light because I know I'll be drinking alcohol tonight. Here's my menu so far:

12 oz. coffee w/ Splenda & 3 tbs. creamer - 3
1 package instant oatmeal - 3
1 banana - 2

Wrap w/ Flatout bread - 1
3 oz. roasted chicken breast - 3
1/4 c. RF shredded cheese - 2
naval orange - 1

apple - 1
strawberry cereal bar - 3

This morning we had a meeting with the principal in the office, and three different people told me to make sure to stop by the teacher's lounge because there was "goodies" in there. One woman told me about the Butterfingers cake, and another about the "to die for" chocolate truffles. Any other day I would have got happy! But today I instantly felt wary. But since I saw beautiful strawberries on someones plate, I went in the lounge after the meeting. It was a sugar paradise. But only two pitiful looking strawberries were left. I turned around and walked out. I DID NOT INDULGE. This is huge.

But even bigger is what happened back in my classroom. One of our students brought in treats. Iced cookies, candy, and Doritos. Offered to me - I said no. Sitting on the table beside my desk - No problem. I'm not even tempted. I am FOCUSED right now, and it makes me feel POWERFUL.

I wearing heels with my jeans at work today. I actually think I look pretty darned good! It seems "wrong" somehow to like how I look, but I can feel my self-esteem breaking out of the bonds that have been suppressing it for so many years. Anyone think that a boost in self-esteem is helping me stay focused on my journey to lose weight? Even with all that has happened in my life for the past month, I feel great today. The sunshine seems to be peeking through the clouds.