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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Vanity

I've never considered myself to be a vain person. I wear a little makeup, but don't fuss a lot with my hair unless I'm going somewhere. I think for a plus-sized woman I dress pretty good - not very trendy, but more classic styles. Even though my self-esteem could use a boost, I know that I'm not ugly. I do receive compliments on my appearance once in a while. I've always thought I had a decent enough face, and just wished my body was decent, too. But with my 33rd birthday just around the corner, I'm starting to feel like I've not only let my body go, but my face as well.

I avoid mirrors at all costs. It depresses me to see my body, but other than to apply eyeliner or floss my teeth, I don't pay much attention to my face either. The other night at work, I caught a glimpse of my self in a mirror and was shocked. I looked not only fat as hell, but OLD. I just didn't realize my face had gotten so FAT - two chins, jowls, and bags under my eyes. I wanted to cry, and it has bothered me ever since.

When I mentioned this to my husband, he said I was just being silly. But since he sees me every day, I don't think he has noticed the gradual change in my face. All I want to know is if I can fix it! Will losing weight help my face snap back? I don't know but I hope so!

My husband announced last night that he wants to buy a weight set to put in the garage so he can start working out. I told him to go right ahead, because I think I can get use of those weights, too! I've said all along that I do not only want to lose weight, but I want to be strong and toned, too. I also heard that schools system employees get a discount on our local gym membership. I'm thinking about maybe joining after we get our tax refund. I know I can workout at home, but I actually LIKE going to the gym. I like the cable-weight machines and the variety of cardio equipment. Our sports center also has a GREAT pool (indoor and out), so it would be great to have a membership so my kids and I can go this summer.

The scale was up a little this morning, reflecting the pizza I had for dinner. No big deal because I know the cause, and I know it will go away if I keep doing well. I bought a bag of lettuce, and plan on having a salad with dinner. I am also still planning on getting on the elliptical during Biggest Loser tonight. Oh, BTW...I watched the last half of Diet Tribe last night. It was okay. I still prefer BL.

I know this post is random, but so is my brain today...

4 comments:

  1. Don't be too hard on yourself! When I'm losing weight I get compliments on my face, how much thinner it looks..how defined...glowing, etc. So yea i think it improves.

    Having the husband on board with working out is a great motivator!!!

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  2. 1. You ARE being silly.
    2. Is it racist to point out that you are black (at least you look black in your picture) and that no matter what, you will always look 10 years younger than any white girl your age?
    3. I have lost a lot of weight before and been worried at times that I would be more wrinkled when I hit goal, but I can tell you I never worried about it when I was at or near goal. You just look too good and feel to good for it to be a concern. Even if I have a couple more wrinkles than I did five years ago, when my weight is very low, I feel more beautiful than I did as a teenager. I am sure this concern of yours will fade away as you get down in the numbers.
    4. Eating well and drinking tons of water does wonders for your skin. I believe it does more than any cleanser, moisturizer or expensive product you could ever buy in a store. You'll like what you see, do not worry.

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  3. No...I don't think it's racist! What does Patti LaBelle say - "Good black don't crack!" LOL, I hope you're right!

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  4. I know how you feel. I had one of those days yesterday. LOL
    Found your blog nosing around.

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