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Thursday, January 22, 2009

In case I'm MIA...

I have left my husband. Last night, and this morning, he became violent and scared the shit out of me and my kids. He threatened to kill me more than once, and went crazy in front of my children. He also threatened to take my children from me so I would never see them again. When he stormed out, he said he was going to the mental hospital to commit himself. He needs more help than I can give him at this point.

My children and I left immediately and went to my mom's house. I applied for the apartment that I looked at on Tuesday, and my best friend has offered us a place to stay at her house so we'll be safe. We are back home now because I saw his car at the mental facility, so I'd figure now would be a safe time to get some of our belongings. Who knows if I'll have any furniture left when I come back, but material things are replaceable. My life isn't.

I'm so scared right now, but I know this is the right thing to do. I am an abused woman, and I have to admit that. Just because he doesn't hit me doesn't mean that he isn't a batterer. His words hurt me way more than his actions, and they hurt, too. I love him, and I pray that he will get himself together, but I can't be his crutch anymore. I can't believe in him more than he believes in himself.

But deep down I do believe in myself. I believe I can take good care of my children on my own. I believe I can provide for them. I believe that I can care for myself and get healthy. I am happy that I haven't binged at all today, and I'm determined not to.

So I am leaving my home, but I will more than likely go back to work tomorrow since it's payday. I'll try to post then, but if for some reason I don't, this is why.

6 comments:

  1. You are a brave incredible woman for taking a stand for you and your children. You are doing the right thing! Good job and we hope you get settled in soon! Stay safe!

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  2. I'm praying for you...

    I'll be emailing you.

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  3. Stay safe and take care of those babies. I'm so glad to hear you saw his car somewhere he could be getting help.

    Keep the faith girl, and leave it in God's capable hands. You'll all be in my prayers.

    And watch out for you. If your mom is anything like mine, she's gonna try to feed you to make you feel better. They don't know any better.

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  4. Hollie....you will be in my prayers and in my thoughts, girl. It is not an easy step to take. I hope your husband gets help, but i'm proud of you for doing what needs to be done to protect yourself and your children. Stay safe, let the love of God comfort you, and go on with your plans to become a happy, healthy person! You'll do it, I'm sure!

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  5. I will be praying for you and your children. You are doing the right thing you need a safe home for them.

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  6. Brave, brave, brave. I know that this had to be so difficult for you. I hope you are safe and feeling less afraid right now. You're going to make it. You made a huge decision for you and your children, and it will only make you a stronger woman.

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